#like you shouldn’t her bad choice on the relationship she's in
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it’s interesting to me how close songs like “Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve” or “The Manuscript” get to a robust ethics of love versus use. beyond simply the assertion that leaving is a betrayal of love which ought to be forever, these songs contain a pretty strong rejection, specifically of sex where it did not belong and had no business appearing. she can say, not just you leaving was cowardly, you ruined something real, but I regret you all the time—I wouldn’t do it all over again, any of it. not just you hurt me within the bounds of our love story, but this wasn’t above board at all. it wasn’t love. you took advantage. another way to say this: “Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve” and “The Manuscript” recognize that sometimes sex is a sin. not leaving afterwards, but sex itself. for the first time, we’re presented with a love story that couldn’t have been saved by an eleventh hour confession of love, by “don’t go” or “I want you for worse or for better” or “the worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you”. the whole thing is rejected as poisoned.
but these songs can only make such a strong statement because there’s the age gap to point to. to the modern mind, it’s easier to recognize use when there’s a clear power imbalance, but I think we’re getting the causation wrong, or at least oversimplifying it. the reason there shouldn’t be sexual relationships between people of drastically different ages isn’t that older people and younger people exist as such in relationships of imbalanced power. a healthy relationship between a mentor and a mentee or a teacher and a student is about guidance and education and protection and respect. these things aren’t “good” exercises of power or restrained power, they are not exercises of power at all.
power enters into the equation when one party decides to use the other. this choice transforms every difference in the relationship into an inequality, every imbalance into a threat. this wasn’t always secretly there under the relationship, it’s a totally transformed new kind of relationship now that use has entered into it. the more differences and asymmetries there are to start with, the more dramatically unequal the new relationship is—not because the relationship was bad inevitably and to begin with! but because these relationships are more vulnerable and so bringing use into them is a greater corruption, which magnifies the damage that is always there. even a perfectly “equal” relationship becomes a power struggle when use enters into it.
but the further step which is invisible to modern eyes is that sex, outside of marriage, does this all on its own. somebody who sleeps with you without marrying you is using you, full stop. and as much as I think this revelation is between the lines of Tortured Poets (and I do think that, it’s in the parallels between the two men!), she can’t face it head-on. there is no she thought about how he said since they loved each other, everything had been above board…she wasn’t sure. because modernity is so convinced that that has to be above board. so the closest thing we get to a song that speaks to that creeping feeling that she was used again is the mashup of Sweet Nothing and Hoax, and her derisive conclusion: all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.
#the older I get the less convinced I am by ethics that translate everything into terms of power#power is not the only force in the world! it is ONE kind!#and it is entirely possible to have relationships that are not tainted by it let alone defined by it!#love is a ruthless game UNLESS you play it good and right!!!#no more keeping score now I just keep you warm!!#no more tug of war now I just know there’s more!#the fears of the archer are UNTRUE not everything comes down to combat in the end!#there are QUALITATIVELY different relationships not just shades of gray#this is me admitting I need a music tag
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Thinking about 5x15 and the beginning of Caroline's speech had me laughing.
"Yeah, I fucked your abuser, but that was after you chose your mother and your freedom over me."
#poorni speaks tvd#tvd#anti caroline forbes#i love that girl but wtf#she was just so awful that season and i genuinely side eye anyone who says that SC made her a bad friend#as if?? she was a good one the season before??#this the same girl who didn’t notice her best friend was dead#or that other one was drowning in a safe#like you shouldn’t her bad choice on the relationship she's in
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I think the funniest thing about scogan to me is that if you try to imagine it in practice it actually ends up much more compellingly fulfilling some of the tropes that the comics have seemingly always been trying to push with Jean/Logan. Which is just. Hilarious. Like the supposed (very old, tired, romance novel ass) dynamic they’ve often tried to push w Jean/Logan (esp in the new xmen era) is that of Logan representing some sort of… wildness or freedom to Jean’s restraint. That her “giving in” (yuck) to him is also her embracing… idk? Some sort of more natural, unrestrained version of herself and her power.
But it falls really flat with Jean not just bc of the misogyny inherent in the trope but also bc. She’s literally already done that. Like several times in fact. It’s sort of her whole thing. She doesn’t need to fuck Logan to step into her unrestrained power. She already, as a character, is supposed to be a vibrant, impossible, wild manifestation of pure creative/destructive will. (And really it’s kind of everyone else— and the writers’ latent misogyny— that keep fucking that up for her).
Scott on the other hand. Well. He kind of is the high powered female romantic lead obsessed with her job who gets sent on a work trip to a rural town where she’s forced to loosen up a little. Like for better or worse that’s kind of exactly him. He would fit alarmingly well in that sort of push and pull storyline. Which is so… good to me. That Scott, of all people, makes more sense on the cover of a Johanna Lindsey novel than Jean does. That him having that kind of dynamic with Logan actually feels way more interesting bc Scott is restrained to a fault, he is an insufferable, neurotic little headcase who would rather die than tell a waiter they got his order wrong. And yet he’s also the guy who’s admitted to actively enjoying riling Logan up bc part of him just wants to see what will happen. Which I’m pretty sure is called chemistry
#something to be said for scott’s relationships w jean and emma and how they affect his feelings about power/agency as well!#I feel like w jean his instinct is just to bask in her sunlight to the point of living in shadow. which she doesn’t WANT but its. scott.#and as the boundaries blur between them her power is also sort of his but also it still isn’t just enough that he doesn’t have to feel#scared of Having it#and meanwhile emma is like ok sweetie what if I just Made You embrace your own agency. that’s how it works right. and scotts like yeah ur#so right it definitely does. this is such a healthy relationship.#and then w logan its like. this guy is literally just gonna keep bothering him until scott has no choice but to act about it.#god. he sucks so bad ❤️#both of them. jean shouldn’t have to deal w any of them we should send her on vacation w ororo#wait no remembered ororo has also had an insane gay rivalry. damn nobody’s safe huh 💔#jean grey#scott summers#logan howlett#scogan#comics
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ngl i do find rewrites of double exposure vastly intriguing ( and want to do one myself ) but the moment people make a huge point of removing amanda and vinh as love interests i immediately lose steam lol. where’s your whimsy … every lis game has romance and max is not some sort of nun character, who is known for putting her feelings aside for the sake of a case. after all, while the world as she knows it is ending, max writes this in her journal about warren and chloe :
like!! she would kiss amanda and vinh!! she would!! max is impulsive and feels things for the people she cares for very, very strongly and i feel like erasing her canon love interests in a genuine rewrite of the game is sort of a null point. no, max wouldn’t think through the logistics of kissing two people while investigating the murder of her best friend. no, max wouldn’t abstain from indulging herself in something she genuinely wants just because she’s sad or busy. idk. double exposure desperately needs a rewrite but the second you write max as someone who’s ‘above’ love affairs i shake my head in disagreement. there’s a difference between including love interests and then allowing the player to have max not romance anyone versus forcing her and the player to not romance anyone at all.
#my posts.#this is not a vague or anything its just something i notice a lot and get irked by lol#you do not have to romance vinh OR amanda to begin with. you can friendzone both just like in every other lis game.#and in general i find it so weird that everyone and their mother says double exposure would be better without love interests#like i understand being burned about the breakup ( IF you get that ) but idk#the way people talk about max and having other love interests has always been very vicious#while people can accept that chloe can love multiple people and still love max#people have a hard time seeing max love multiple people and still be able to love chloe#i truly just get bad vibes from the insistence that max shouldn’t have love interests who aren’t chloe … like idk … i think she’s allowed?#i think max has every right to move on and that she’s allowed to mess around as she deems fit#what’s REALLY baffling is that neither amanda nor vinh are like. permanent.#both relationships with them are up in the air at the end of the game#you could have max kiss amanda and agree with her that they wouldn’t work#or have max kiss vinh and decide they shouldn’t pursue it for a similar reason#it isn’t like max becomes officially partnered to either romance option at the end of the game#she is still single? and there are still choices to be made?#idk idk. how people treat the existence of vinh and amanda bug me deeply.#and how people treat max having the nerve to be into anyone but chloe ( or warren ig? ) also bugs me deeply#let my girl live and let her be her disastrous bisexual self who kisses people impulsively at the WORST time bc. well. she wants to#anyway. yeah <3
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ruin it | b.eilish
billie eilish x fem!reader
context. billie doesn’t want to ruin your friendship so she keeps her feelings to herself
warnings. angst, kissing, not proof read
masterlist
“I had a great time.” she concluded as she walked you up the stairs to your apartment, having driven you home due to the late hour of the night.
“me too, thanks for driving me home.” you replied when she smiled and leaned in for a hug.
“it was my pleasure.” as you waved her off you gave yourself a second to find your keys and prepare yourself from entering the apartment. you’d decided to give the girl a second chance, after the disaster that was the first date, against your roommate’s wishes. you were desperately hoping she was asleep. the keys turned in the lock and you pushed the door open quietly and headed straight for your room, having heard the tv on in the living room.
“not so fast.” her voice boomed as you heard her footsteps approach the hallway near your bedroom. you cursed yourself silently.
“i thought you’d be asleep?” she crossed her arms once she placed herself in front of you.
“why were you out so late?” her tone was somewhat angry, as if you’d done something wrong. and despite disagreeing with this statement, you grew exceedingly nervous.
“that’s none of your business billie.” your response came off harsher than intended.
“since when is anything none of my business?” she seemed annoyed by your reply.
“billie, c’mon. it’s not a big deal.” you turned away from her in attempt to escape the conversation but she piped up again.
“were you with her?” she asked and you turned to face her. it gave her the answer she needed. “seriously?” she seemed disappointed.
“was she late again? did she show up sober this time?” she referred to what a dick the girl had been last time you’d gone out with her.
“yes actually, she was perfectly nice.” billie almost laughed.
“yeah okay, does she still think your name is bella?” she scolded you. on the first date she’d gotten your name wrong consistently, and billie never missed an opportunity to bring it up.
“no..” you replied sheepishly.
“well that certainly makes up for it. why did you go out with her again? you know you deserve better.” there was hints of sadness in her words as she spoke.
“not everyone gets as many hoes as you billie. i don’t necessarily get to be picky.” she furrowed her brows as you said this.
“why not? even if it means waiting you shouldn’t lower your standards.” it was frustrating dealing with her, she never approved of your romantic choices. it didn’t matter who it was she’d always point out a flaw.
“why do you even care so much? just let me make bad decisions.” you sighed, tired of this conversation. this argument you’d have every-time you came back from a date.
“i care about you. you deserve better, so much better than that fucking loser.” she seemed disgusted by the thought of her.
“why do you always have to ruin my chance at a happy relationship?” you raised your voice, annoyed at her persistence.
“because i know you wouldn’t be happy!” she seethed, trying desperately to get her point across.
“so i can’t be happy with anyone? what am i supposed to do then?” she opened her mouth to speak but stayed silent, not wanting to say something she’d regret.
“of course, no excuse. as per fucking usual. i mean what is it? are you jealous? do you ruin my relationships because you think we won’t be as close?” she stayed silent, contemplating her words. her silence however, gave you an answer in itself.
“oh my god… you’re jealous!” you couldn’t believe it, but her eyes widened at the conclusion you’d come to and she dismissed it.
“i’m not jealous.” she said defensively.
“then what is it?” you searched her eyes for an answer but she didn’t seem to have one herself.
“they don’t deserve you, none of them. you’re too good for any of them.” she repeated herself.
“what the fuck does that even mean at this point? you keep saying it, but it seems like you think there’s nobody that deserves me. stop fucking with me billie i don’t want to hear it anymore.” her expression softened.
“that’s not what i meant.” she was having trouble expressing herself.
“i don’t understand bils, help me understand because it’s driving a wedge between us when there’s no reason for it to.” you were pleading her to explain. explain the truth, tell you what she was holding back.
“you don’t get it.” she said simply, throwing her head back in frustration.
“billie, if you’re just gonna deflect, i’m going to sleep. i can’t deal with your shit tonight.” she lowered her head, scouring her brain for what to say next. what to say to convince you.
“wait!” she grabbed your arm, holding you back.
“no, billie. if you’re gonna be all cryptic and confusing i don’t wanna hear it.” her grip was insisting, pulling you back to her.
“i just don’t want to ruin it.” her words as cryptic as ever, proving your previous point. your curiosity took control though.
“ruin what?” it was a question with a lot of weight.
“this. our friendship.” her words bled with hurt and fear, a combination that broke your heart every-time you’d hear it.
“they don’t deserve you because, i do.” it hit you in several ways, not fully understanding the extent of the meaning behind it.
“what?” you asked for clarification, hesitantly she complied.
“i’d treat you right, give you what you deserve.” she admitted finally, and your thoughts were spoken aloud.
“billie..”
“no. listen to me. you mean more to me than anyone ever has, and i can’t stand to see these idiots mistreat you. and what i really can’t stand, is the fact that you let them.” she waited silently for a response, already accepting that you might not be able to give her one.
“billie.” it was weak, no motion to it, nothing it was destined to be.
“yeah?” her hope was slowly diminishing.
“just..” she tilted her head, confused at your lip taking residence between your teeth.
“hm?” she bit her cheek, nausea forming in the pit of her stomach. the fear of having ruined years of friendship consuming her mind.
“just kiss me then.”
“what?” she was still trying to process your words and you gave her time to do so.
“kiss me how i deserve to be kissed. make me happy.”
“no, don’t do this to me. you’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.” she shook her head, stepping away from you.
“billie.” she lifted her head to look at you. “i’m dead serious.” she raised an eyebrow and let you approach her.
“but won’t it ruin it? ruin us?” she was hesitant when she stepped closer to you.
“not if we don’t let it.” you countered, easing your way into her embrace. “besides, you can’t say that shit without acting on it. at that point you may as-well call me bella, it’d hurt less.” she laughed, the sound vibrating in your ears.
“okay.” she held your face tenderly as her lips reached yours. she backed you against your bedroom door as she continued to kiss you, your hands lost in her hair and her groans lost in your throat. her hips attached to yours, moving in a rhythm of passion.
“see, you didn’t ruin it.” you were breathless, smiling like an idiot. she smirked before speaking.
“not yet.” she gripped your ass, biting her lip at your little jump. you wouldn’t have expected this from her, you’d never imagined yourself in this position. but by no means was it a complaint.
“you couldn’t ruin me, not even if you tried.” she saw it as a challenge, and then her lips feathered yours as she formed her words.
“watch me.”
note: oops, i disappeared for a while 🫣 i promise it was with good reason and i’ll start getting back to my requests now. love youuuu
#billie eilish#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish fic#billie eilish gf#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x you#dom!billie#hit me hard and soft#billie ellish lyrics#billie eilish blurb#billie eilish angst#billie eilish hmhas
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Random OP Character Headcanons
Random hcs I’ve been thinking about for like the past two months lol
Luffy: Play fights will turn dangerous real quick. Out of all of the Strawhats, he’s the one you shouldn’t ever think about play fighting with.
Zoro: So bad with directions he has to hold his hands out in an L shape to see which is left and right.
Franky: Has tried to do his hair to make it look like the word “SUPER”. Ended up hating how much gel he was using tho.
Nami: Her and Ussop have self care days. She goes ALL out every time! Face masks, pedicures, full blown hair care. She’ll make sure they have a relaxing day.
Usopp: When the crew reunited, him and Nami bonded over their hair. Will talk about different styles they want to try out, different hair products, even going as far as teaching themselves different hair styles to practice on one another.
Kaido: We all know he’s an emotional drunk. Has cried in front of Yamato about how he thinks he doesn’t love him. (Yamato didn’t gaf.)
Yamato: He’s only sticking to one hairstyle and that’s his ponytail. He cannot for the life of him bring himself to do anything else with his hair. It’s him and his ponytail against the world!
Lucci: Lowkey loves gossip to the point where he uses Hattori. Hattori knows allll the tea. Watch out for the adorable bird, he’s getting insight for Lucci.
Kaku: Loves giraffes so much to the point where he despises the predators of them. Lowkey disliked Lucci for a bit because of his leopard devil fruit.
Mihawk: Hates being called “Dracule”. Mihawk, his full name, or Hawkeyes, or even Mr. Creepy Swordsman will do just fine. But please do NOT call him Dracule.
Crocodile: Made mini sandcastles out of boredom one time in his office when trying to figure out the budget for Cross Guild. Didn’t try it again because Daz almost walked in on him doing it.
Daz Bonez: Turned his finger into a knife so he could cut fruits for himself. Why go out of your way to grab a knife when you can become the knife?
Buggy: We all know he has beautiful long hair. Downside to that lucious hair is that he’s tender headed, especially if someone else is brushing his hair. Will hold his head, flinch away, probably even start crying. His scalp is very sensitive!
Doflamingo: As manipulative as this man is, he CANNOT flirt. He can’t even do it as a form of manipulation. He’s better off dancing like an actual bird to attract a potential relationship(that won’t work either)
Corazon/Rosinante: Unlike his brother, this man can actually flirt! Is a natural at it actually. Only downside is that he’ll get flustered if someone flirts back and end up falling to the ground. (Also headcanon that he definitely slipped on a random banana peel on the floor. Baby 5 put the banana peel there.)
Perona: She actually attempted to try her negative hollow move on Mihawk once. Didn’t get the chance to because a simple glare from him made her rethink her life choices.
Barto: Most definitely has written cute fanfics about the Strawhats. Probably has drawn fanart too.
Ace: Most definitely held a “loudest fart/burp” challenge on the Moby Dick. Whitebeard won
Sabo: Tried swinging his staff around as a party trick. Ended up wacking himself on the head with it. Never did it again.
Marco: If he lived in the modern world he would most definitely binge watch those paternity court videos. Or Jerry Springer and Maury vids.(This is all thanks to Stussy and Weevil. Bro does NOT think that’s Whitebeard’s biological son.)
Shanks: Can handle getting drunk off his ass. Cannot handle getting high, not even in the slightest.
Law: After he got his tattoo, he admired them and wondered if Cora would be happy about him getting them in his honor.
Kidd: Loves eyeliner, HATES mascara. He cannot stand anything on his lashes. Also has a horrible habit of plucking his lashes a bit.
Killer: Has bought those straws that are made into designs. Most definitely has a straw that looks like glasses.
Hawkins: He likes crystals! One of those astrology people. “What’s your zodiac sign? Oh? Gemini? Damn… You’re gonna die.” (Most definitely yelled at Kid for calling Aquarius “Asparagus”)
#one piece#monkey d. luffy#op#akagami no shanks#corazon#dracule mihawk#bartolomeo#roronoa zoro#nami#ussop#donquixote doflamingo#eustass kid#killer one piece#basil hawkins#sir crocodile#buggy the clown#daz bones#franky#trafalgar law#marco the phoenix#rob lucci#kaku one piece#kaido one piece#yamato#perona#portgas d ace#one piece sabo#one piece headcanons#one piece hcs
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— rumours put to rest. chris sturniolo | versus tour
sypnosis. with all the girls flirting and complimenting with y/n’s famous boyfriend, chris sturniolo, she begins to feel self conscious of if she actually deserves this mini-celebrity she caught herself, especially with their relationship being a secret. bf!chris realized this and decided to put the rumours to rest once and for all.
warnings. flangst? self-consciousness, crying / comfort, fem!reader, that’s really all.
a/n. not sure where this inspiration came from but i’m feeling sappy today. also first post!!!!! like and reblog to support your favourite writers<3333
“ the need to be the best before the need to rest .. “
this was it; the versus tour was finally here, and my boyfriend was going on stage in front of hundreds of people.
a lot of girls found him attractive, that i knew was inevitable. but i could never get rid of this sickly feeling.
while he was out there, being admired by all these pre-teen girls, i was sat inside the trailer watching through a live-camera.
i wanted to be out there. i wanted to be the one admiring him.. he is my boyfriend of six months, after all.
and don’t get me wrong — chris is an amazing boyfriend, and i couldn’t have asked for a better soulmate to be paired with, but i was sick of being a secret.
i knew staying secret was the better choice, both for him and for me. i didn’t like the spotlight, and i didn’t want to deal with the rude comments by jealous girls, and he simply wasn’t ready to reveal our relationship yet.
i understood it, all of it.
yet, i couldn’t help but feel horrible about the situation i put myself in.
i watched as the girl brought on stage to be on his team was a little overly touchy, grabbing his arm, talking to him.
it was all in good-heart, i knew that, yet.. i still felt that twinge of my heart at every touch or glance or words spoken between them, telling me that it should be me on that stage making him laugh under his breath.
it hurt. my heart hurt from the guilt and sadness of being remained a secret, and i didn’t like it. at all.
i quickly wiped the tear from my cheek as i tried to remain positive seeing my boyfriend happy, and smiling, but it was hard with the constant flow of tears from my eyes that just didn’t seem to stop.
shit. why am i crying?
a voice is spoken from my phone, “alright, guys, we have to get going, but thank you so much for coming, it was a blast tonight!” nick said in the mic, turning to his brothers to signify it was time to go.
“awwww!” the crowd erupts.
“thank you guys!” matt’s distant voice says to the mic as he grabs his jacket and moves toward the exit.
chris waves goodbye to his parter that was brought onto the stage, giving her a quick smile and waving to the crowd as he followed his brother.
fuck. why did that hurt so bad? it shouldn’t, really.
i shut my phone off, tossing it across the tiny tour bed, and curled into myself. i brushed my tears away, running fingers through my hair.
it was all lighthearted, that’s what i should be thinking.
but the girl he was with was so beautiful. the kind of beautiful that makes your breath stop and your head feel dizzy.
looking at myself in the mirror across from the bed, i sigh.
chris should be with that kind of girl: effortlessly pretty, good smile, bubbly personality.. yet, i was the opposite. he clicked with her, because that was his match — the same loudness, eagerness, excitement and energy, she should be his type of match.
before i can spiral into my thoughts any longer, the door to the tour bus opens.
“oh my god, i’m spent.” nick huffs, placing his wallet and phone on the small table and falling against the couch.
“tell me about it, all day travelling and then a three hour show? i’m exhausted.” matt says, dropping his keys and jacket against the kitchen counter.
realizing they had already made their way to the bus, i quickly wipe my tears.
“hey, y/n.” nick waves, and i peek my head out, flashing the best smile i could.
“hi, nick.” i say back, huffing at the small croack in my voice.
and then, there was chris.
i watch as he walks over to me, smile on his face as he grabs my cheeks and kisses my forehead. “hi, baby.” he says, pulling away to look at my face.
and when his eyes land on my puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, his brows furrow.
“are you.. okay?” he whispers, quickly glancing to nick and matt who shrug their shoulders. he lets go of my face, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
“yeah, um, i’m — i’m fine.” i sniff, wiping my tears, “just missing home.”
his eyes run over my face, almost as if inspecting me.
he leans closer, whispering. “do you wanna go outside? so we can talk.”
i glance toward nick and matt, pretending not to be listening, yet they were horrible at hiding their curiosity.
looking back to chris, i nod. he gives me a smile, lending out his hand which i take. the warmth of his hand seeps into my palm, giving me almost instant comfort he seems to always be able to give me.
he leads me toward the door, making a silent, quick gesture and muttering for matt to move his ass, which he does.
and as soon as that door opens, and i take a step outside, i feel instantly calmed down. i realized now that i had spent basically the last twelve hours inside that trailer.
chris squeezes my hand as we walk down the road, listening to the soft sounds of the forest and buzzing streets of the city ahead of us.
and as we found a place against a wall, he sighs and stops, leaning against it.
“so.. what’s wrong?” he says, letting go of my hand, wiping a small tear that i hadn’t realized ran down my cheek.
“i dunno, i just —.. i think i’m overreacting, it’s nothing to really—“
“baby.” chris cuts my off, resting a hand on my cheek, “it’s just me,” he tucks my hair behind my ear, “talk to me.”
i bite my lip. ponder his words.
“that girl you were partnered with today on stage?” i offer.
“what about her?” he asks.
“it’s just.. i dunno.” i look to my hands, picking at my nails, “she was so beautiful. and funny, and outgoing..”
his brows furrow, “where are you going with this?”
my teeth sink back into my lip, “do you ever.. think about how different our lives are?
“i mean, i’m this college student, becoming a teacher, and you’re a celebrity.” i shrug my shoulders, “do you ever think about being with.. with someone more compatible?”
“wait, just—“
“that girl in there, she was just like you.” i chuckle, before sniffing, “loud, funny, all bubbly and smiley like that..”
“y/n—“
“and i’m just.. some book nerd.”
“Y/N.” chris says, placing two hands on my shoulders. “please, let me talk.
my lips form a tight line, my throat aching from a sob wanting to come from my throat.
“i love you.” he says in a breathy tone, “only you. i don’t care about how different our lives are; you’re the only girl i want.”
“you.. you love me?” i whisper.
a smile forms on his lips as he brushes a thumb across my cheek.
“of course i do, dummy.” he says, pulling me closer by a hand on my back clothed by his hoodie — his favourite hoodie.
“now, can you stop crying so i can kiss you?” he says, licking his lips, “‘been thinking about you the whole show.”
i giggle. “you’re such a loser.”
“only for you, baby.”
#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolo triplets#chris x reader#chris sturniolo x reader
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Too Sweet
Dbf!Joel Miller x College!Reader
A/n: hey guys so i may or may not take a writing break (i know i said i was gonna write more but like) the stress of all the nazi shits that keep plaguing my comment sections on every post i make, regardless if it’s political or not is making me wanna tear my head off… so I might just go away a while.
Warnings: fluff, awkward mentions of past relationships, dbf!joel, smut, piv (unprotected), so much teasing. It’s actually pretty cute guys.
Is anyone at all surprised by the song choice? Hozier has us all in a headlock rn… also this is dedicated to my favorite joel writer @macfrog bc she’s just amazing and you should read her work.
MASTERLIST
“Babygirl,” he breathed, pulling back but not away, his face still inches from your own. You could clearly see his blown pupils and focused expression. “Get upstairs.” Though you wanted to tease him, wanted to quip back a quiet ‘or what?’, you needed him just as much, and you weren’t going to be told twice.
“Dates are a bad idea,” you reminded him, handing over another nail from the box in your hands.
A last minute kitchen Island was added to the kitchen’s floor plan on the current house the team had been working on, so now it was up to yourself and Joel to make that happen. Well, it was up to Joel to make that happen, and it was up to you to stand by and watch him.
“I know, s’just,” he shook his head, hammering the nail down and holding his hand up for another. “I don’t get the whole thing these days where relationships are built on hookups.”
Your lips turned up in a smile. He was an old fashioned guy, with old fashioned ideals about love and dating and relationships. It was sweet, albeit a little obnoxious. You rather liked hooking up with him, however little it may be.
“Where would we even go?” you saw how on the first hit, the nail went crooked, so you handed him another before he even reached.
“I don’t know, hadn’t thought that far.”
You had to laugh at that.
“You wanna take me on a date but you don’t know where we would go?”
“Well,” he finished the last nail then stood up next to you, scratching the back of his neck. “This ain’t exactly an easy situation, we got your old man to avoid.”
Very reasonable, but sort of an obvious point by now. This entire thing started based on the fact that: you know each other because of your father, as in, they are each other’s closest friend. Pair that with one man hooking up with the other’s daughter, it becomes a disaster waiting to happen… except for he doesn’t see it that way, and neither do you.
You sighed, looking around to make sure everyone was still outside with the boss. Joel had just wiped his forehead on his arm to rid himself of the sweat, and you could see the tension in his muscles from the work he just finished. You stepped up to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close enough to peck his lips once.
“If you can find a place where we won't get caught, then I’d love to go on a date with you.”
He smiled, kissing you again. He had wanted to tell you he was too sweaty for hugs right now, but as soon as you wrapped yourself around him, those thoughts suddenly left his mind. You just fit so well against him, he wonders how he never realized.
-
He was even older than you thought. Not actually, but this man had decided on a date location, and as you were pulling in, the things packed into the backseat started to make sense.
“Drive In movies?” You shouldn’t be surprised, the guy is practically a fossil, he even texts like he's still got a flip phone.
“Your dad’s never taken you here?” He chuckled, pulling into the line at the front.
“No,” you laughed, leaning back in your seat as the cars ahead moved up.
“Good, then we won’t run into him.”
You reached and grabbed his hand over the center console. He always gave two little squeezes before readjusting his grip, rubbing his thumb on the center of your palm. It was sweet, comforting.
He rolled down his window and paid the attendant in the booth, just a kid, probably still in high-school… but he certainly had an attitude on him, given the nasty glare he served Joel after making eye-contact with you. Joel had never let go of your hand, the kid knew he wasn’t your dad.
“What’d you tell him, anyway?” He asked, driving off towards the lot on the opposite side of the land. The big screen was not even rolling the trailers yet.
“Hm?”
“Your dad,” he seemed almost shy about mentioning your dad in front of you, in this context. How did you lie to him this time? But he knew what he was doing, what he’d been doing and still plans on doing.
“Told ‘im I was gonna go shopping with a friend, that I may or may not sleep over.”
He raised an eyebrow and smirked, never taking his eyes off the road. He pulled into a spot in the very back corner, where it was likely to remain empty the entire duration of the movie.
“Oh did you, now?”
You turned a light shade of pink at admitting to him you wanted to sleep over… not like it was a new occurrence, but you hadn’t really asked him yet.
“I didn’t tell him for sure, I know Sarah-”
“Sarah’s with Tommy at a concert in Dallas,” he said, unbuckling his seat belt and turning off the engine. “Text your dad, let him know that friend of yours is keepin’ you till tomorrow.”
He got out of the truck, walking around the front to open your door, holding his hand out to help you down. Ever the gentleman.
“Thank you, kind sir,” you teased, walking around the backseat door and helping him unload the piles of blankets he’d managed to stuff in. The man practically emptied the top shelf of his linen closet for this.
“Anything for you, M’lady.”
He ended up taking almost everything into his arms, letting you carry one pillow and a single blanket towards the back of the truck. Normally it was all dusty and gross, proof of the work it helped him do. You wouldn’t even have noticed, because you don’t often pay attention to the state of other people’s truck beds, but he had cleaned the whole thing out, making it look as if he’d just brought it home from the dealership… minus the odds and ends of dents from his toolbox and timber.
“What’s playin’?” You nodded up to the screen as he took the pillows and blankets, tossing them across the truck bed to make a cozy little area for the two of you.
“It’s uh…” he reached into his pocket, checking the nightly double stubs. “Jaws and E.T., it’s a Spielberg double feature.”
You don’t remember telling him that Spielberg was your favorite director, but maybe he was just already at that place where he could read your mind… or maybe it was just a coincidence and he thought that the throwback double feature at the drive in would be fun. Either way, he hit the nail right on the head.
“Sounds good to me.”
When everything was settled just the way he wanted, he turned to you, his hand out towards the blankets. “After you, darlin.”
You tried to step up on the tailgate, but your foot slipped for how high it was.
“Want me to give you a toss?” He joked, but you rolled your eyes at him. You would not be acquiring his help after that joke.
“I’ll be just fine, thank you.”
It may have been embarrassing, but like hell you were gonna give into him, his chuckles of amusement under his breath as you slowly and steadily climbed up by yourself. It was much harder to grab onto the dip in the bed when there were so many blankets spread out. Eventually you made it up, collapsing onto your back into the mound of bedding.
“First try,” you raised a fist in the air, looking back to him to see his amusement had not ended and he was smiling wide where he stood, arms crossed and brows raised when your eyes met. “You comin’?”
And as easily as he could walk, he used the ridge along the underside of the tailgate to climb up over on the side, sitting down next to you and giving you a light hearted side eye. “See how easy that was?”
“Oh yeah, sure. You must be so proud, you’re a pro at climbing into your own truck.”
He laughed, laying back beside you. “Baby, I think anyone looks like a pro compared to you.”
“Maybe I’m just more athletically inclined, wanted to take the long way,” you chided, sitting up onto your elbows and looking over at him. The trailers had started running, and the light was hitting his features so nicely. He looked so nice. You could argue that he always did. At work when he was a sweaty mess, he looked real good then, too.
“I’m sure that’s it.”
He settled against the pillows, nodding his head upwards for you to join him. He brought you near with open arms, one that settled under your shoulder and the other that settled on your waist. You’d tucked your head under his chin, feeling him rest his head on top of yours.
You both had fucked around, sure… but this was a little slice of heaven right here. No amount of sneaking around or giving each other temporary pleasure beat the simplicity of laying next to one another, breathing in each other’s air, and being on a date. A real one. It wasn't a hasty exchange built upon needing to get off, but a choice to spend genuine time together, in which you receive nothing but the pleasure of one's company.
You couldn’t remember the last time you went on a date. Joel was right, hookup culture had become too strong in this day and age. It stands to reason that you haven’t actually slept with anyone in a while. You like being asked out, but guys your age don’t exactly want to give you that satisfaction. Joel asked you out. Sure, he fucked you silly on the stretch of his fingers only a week ago… but he still asked you out.
Jaws ended sooner than you thought it would. Back when you were a kid, and afraid of sharks, it seemed much longer of a movie. There was a lull between it and E.T., assuming the kid working in the projection tower had to change out the film roll himself. It made for a sweet and quiet conversation that sparked up as soon as the credits rolled.
“You bring a lot of girls here?”
He rolled his eyes and shook his head, even though it was meant as a teasing question.
“Nah,” he said anyway, turning a bit more to face you. “Usually, I don’t have to hide from my girlfriend’s dads. Not since highschool, anyway.”
You almost didn’t catch it. His use of the word girlfriend, which subtly implied that’s what you were… but you weren’t one to assume, or at least, not with Joel and the risky business of your relationship. You laced your hand with his between your bodies, looking down at his fingers while you did your best to recover the conversation without acting awkward.
“The more I think about it, I’m not so sure my dad would be angry.”
Joel wished he had the mindset to think that way.
“You kiddin’ me? If your dad found out I’d been messin with his only daughter, I’d get his shotgun to my head.”
A laugh escaped your lips, but you shook your head.
“You’re not just messin with me, though…”
At least, you hoped he wasn’t. Of all things that could be said about you and Joel, it was that you had already gotten attached. Already been to a place where you miss seeing him at work every day when you go home. Miss talking to him and learning more about his life, and having him listen about yours. There have been so many people in your life who told you that you talk too much, or that you never shut up. But Joel never has. He listens, and he’s happy to. You’d hate to lose that one day and never get it back.
“No,” he lifted your chin so you’d meet his eyes again. “I’m not just messin with ya.”
You held his stare for a moment, neither of you leaned in. It was just a nice moment, to look at one another, and to appreciate what you saw. A moment to see that hey, Joel has little flecks of gold in the brown of his eyes. A little moment for when you get sad that he isn’t around, that way you can remember how he looks at you when he is around. It’s something mixed with longing and contentment. Two opposites that somehow come together on his features and tell you more than his words could ever say.
“Good,” you finally replied. “In any case, my dad won’t shoot ya. I think he loves you too much.”
He laughed, the low rumble vibrated through his chest, and you felt it against your joined hands.
“You don’t suppose I could woo him over too, huh?”
“I don’t think your charm would sway him as easily.”
“Oh I got charm, now?”
“No, not really… nice ass, though,” you giggled, and he playfully shoved your arm back, causing you to fall into a fit of laughter on your back. “Just bein’ honest, mister.”
“I see how it is,” he pulled you back in with a swift move of his arm. “Only want me for my body.”
“What can I say? I’m a modern woman in a modern world.”
“S’all the same to me, whatever gets you to agree to a date with me. Still can’t believe you did…”
He says it half jokingly. You know he doesn’t see himself as desirable. Even though he’s in the prime of his life and is quite literally one of the finest men this town has to offer, he looks at the obstacles. He works too often, has a teenage daughter, he doesn’t look the way he used to, some people find him incredibly boring… but only the worst people.
“Joel, I'm lucky to be on a date with you.”
“Yeah, sure… s’not like you ain’t got a hundred guys your age lining up behind me to-”
You kissed him. He was not going to be permitted to speak if he was not going to say nice things about himself, a new rule you were establishing. He didn’t seem to care much for the rest of his sentence after you pulled away, the words slipping from his mind the second your lips touched his.
“I like you,” you told him, making your intentions very clear to him. You weren’t just messing around, either. “You treat me better than all those shitheads, anyway.”
-
You’d been passing in and out of consciousness on the drive home. You’d been up since the crack of dawn this morning, the neighbor’s dog barking incessantly. You’re sure Joel heard it too, unless of course he’d been laying on his good ear, the bad one would have canceled out all the noise.
The streetlights go by in waves over your eyes, lids closed lightly after each time they flutter. You were curled so sweetly into the passenger seat of Joel’s truck, finding such comfort in the place. You’d have thought it was where you spent most of your time. His hand was on the edge of your knee the whole drive, rubbing small circles over the area.
By the time you both had gotten home, you had to scan the yard for signs that your dad may be in the near vicinity. He was usually never home on a Friday night, unless there was a Rangers game or if he had company. It made sense that his car was gone when you both pulled up.
“You text him, yet?”
You shook your head, pulling your phone out of your back pocket and completing the task meant for three hours ago.
“It’s only ten, he might be at the bar, still.”
You didn’t over explain anything in your message, no need to make him question your thoroughness. Just something simple and quick.
Staying over at Amy’s, I’ll be back before lunch. Drive safe.
But then you immediately deleted the last part. Because how would you know he’s still out?
Joel had cut the engine, getting out and walking around to meet you at your door, except you’d already opened it and stepped out yourself.
He gave you an unserious look that feigned offense.
“Hey now,” he settled his hands on his hips, the sass evident in his voice. “We’re still on a date, miss. I’m supposed to get the door.”
You knew he wasn’t really upset, but you found it funny pretending as if he was.
“Modern woman in a modern world, remember?”
“Yeah,” he waved you off, shutting your door and taking your hand as you both walked up to the front door. “What all does that entail, anyhow? Bein’ a modern woman?”
You smiled, watching him take his damn time with the keys. He knew exactly what he was doing.
“Well, since achieving the vote, we’ve made quite a bit of ground. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re allowed to work with you guys, now.”
“Ah… how did I miss that?”
“Weren’t looking hard enough. We also get to wear pants now, so I can see why you’re confused.”
And once the door was open, he lazily slung an arm around you to let you inside. Ladies first and all that. He didn’t actually respond to your last comment until you were both in the entry hall, door closed.
“Shame, I kinda like you without pants,” he hovered in close, partially teasing but otherwise just to get his body nearer to yours. The heat between you blossomed, and it could easily be sensed on both sides since leaving the truck.
“Mister Joel Miller, don't you know the best part of a modern woman?”
He raised his eyebrows, his head shaking once and eyes rolling over. Just say it already.
“We can ask any man we want to take our pants off.”
There was barely a second between your words and the speed of his lips meeting yours. It was different from the kisses at the drive in, now it was harsh and hungry. A stark contrast to the softness and the serenity. This was clouded by lust, by the human need to devour.
Joel was not gentle by nature. He was often brutish in his work and day to day. There were few people who genuinely saw him gentle. Sarah, Tommy, your dad, and you, his other side neighbors, and Carol, the lady who takes Sarah to school when he can’t. Maybe not in that exact order, but that was the list nonetheless.
You’d always seen him gentle, so the moment he backs you into the door, your back slamming on the painted wood, something stirs. You liked Joel how you knew him… but maybe there was other unexplored territory to delve into.
“Joel,” you whined out on the end of a breath. His name falling from your mouth was always how he preferred to hear it, but under this context had to be his favorite.
“Baby,” he trailed his kisses to your cheek, then jaw, then neck, resting in the crook of your shoulder and seemingly finding a home there. Your hands dove through his hair, tugging ever so gently and feeling the vibrations on your skin as a repercussion. His hands never found a resting place, running up and down your sides, every few seconds reaching down for a feel of your ass. He seemed to like yours, too.
When the arousal became too much, you tried your luck at rolling against him. The sound he made alone would have been enough for you to know how badly he wanted you, but the feel of him through his jeans was a physical show of it. He gets hard so fast for you.
“Babygirl,” he breathed, pulling back but not away, his face still inches from your own. You could clearly see his blown pupils and focused expression. “Get upstairs.”
Though you wanted to tease him, wanted to quip back a quiet ‘or what?’, you needed him just as much, and you weren’t going to be told twice.
He watched you from behind, taking the stairs two at a time until you reached the top. You nearly tripped over the last stair, but before you could go toppling over, his arm around your waist stopped you dead in your place.
“So damn clumsy,” he shook his head, the edge of a smirk forming. He tapped your hip with his free hand, getting you to move forward again until you got to his door. “Can’t get in a truck, can’t climb stairs…”
Now that he’d teased you first, you felt you had a small bit of free reign to mess with him. He was still gonna have you, but why make things so boring? You stared at the handle, gripping it, but making no move to twist it and open the door.
“Doorknob too much for you, too?”
You narrowed your eyes over your shoulder, where he was lingering closely. You could feel him pressed against your backside, the arousal evident in every breath he took, but he was still having fun with his little pokes of annoyance at you.
“I think I remember a rule about your room being off limits…” You trailed, cheekily smiling at him before he reached around you and opened the door himself. He held out his hand with a cocky raised brow, and waited for you to step in.
“Ladies don’t always have to go first, y’know. S’all part of-”
“Bein’ a modern woman, I know.”
But still you went in first, taking a few steps backward until your knees hit the edge of the bed and caused you to sit. You tilted your head at him, still leaning in the doorway, his hand on the frame above his head and his other hand still steadily on his hip. What’s he waiting for?”
“I ain’t gonna wait all night, cowboy…”
He chuckled, shaking his head and slowly coming forward. For someone so eager, he was taking his sweet time.
“You’re cute,” he gently pushed you back into the mattress, crawling one arm at a time over your form. “But something tells me that you would wait all night.”
He leaned down and met your lips with his, feeling your hands climb from the bed, to his shoulders, then to the sides of his face. He loved the feeling of your hands on him. Loved the way that with each pass of your skin against his, you began to learn the feeling of him as well. With one hand still supporting himself, his other raked down your side, then up over your middle, hugging the curves of your stomach, the stretch of your ribcage, and the gentle peaks of your breasts. He stopped there, paying mindful attention according to every sound you made, every groan of approval, or whimper of satisfaction. It was all he could hear, and became his instruction on how to touch you.
You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him closer between them, trying to spur on the friction that would give you relief. Joel knew the signs of your arousal clearly by now, but there was still ground for him to cover.
“Gettin’ so needy already, baby.”
His murmur against your mouth was interrupted. You whined at the loss of his lips, but were quieted in a moment when his hands trails downwards. He knelt one knee between your legs, the other still on the ground. He lifted behind your knees and gave a quick shove to drive you further up his mattress. His next move was to go for your shorts, given the fact they’d been causing him to mentally strain himself all evening.
“Gotta get these damn things off,” he said.
They went flying to the floor, and then he had to stop a minute. With your knees raised, either side of his hips, he had the most ethereal view of your soaked underwear, a dark and increasingly wet stain against the soft blue cotton. When you noticed how long he’d stopped to enjoy the scenery, you grabbed his hand on your knee.
“Joel, please-”
“I know, babygirl.”
And he didn’t make you beg for it. Not like the silly college boys would, and have in the past. He sunk down on the ground by his bed, leaning over on his elbows, hooking them under your legs again before pulling himself inward. He kissed over the wet fabric, hooking his fingers underneath it at your sides and slowly sliding them off.
Your hands found his hair and your mouth parted in a shaking breath. The slow contact he made was like sweet torture. Your skin arose goosebumps under his touch, agonizingly slow and increasingly annoying, given your absolute need for him.
“Need you… Joel I can’t- fuck.”
He kept it slow, but he licked upward, meeting your clit in devastating motions. You needed more, and as if he read your mind, his first finger was brought down and inserted to your seeping entrance. Your cries of approval met her ears like a happy melody, pushing him to go faster.
You’d already been pushing the edge, just from him touching you… but now that the contact was area specific, you weren’t sure if you could take much more. The hard feeling of him pressed against your earlier had seeded a thought that you would not be satisfied until he was inside you, heavy and full.
“Want more,” you tried to tell him, but he would not allow his feasting to be cut short. He’d made up his mind about the first time he would actually have sex with you. It wasn’t going to be rushed.
He shook his head, the sensation from the motion even more impacting. You took one hand away from his hair, fisting his sheets as tightly as you could.
“Gotta work you a little,” he pulled back to say, adding another finger to the mix, feeling you tightly around him. He climbed back up your body, hand never leaving its place between your legs. “Relax for me, yeah?”
You did your best, taking a breath and keeping your eyes trained on his, but they soon fell to his mouth, lips licked clean and the very corners covered with you. It somehow flipped a switch in you that you weren’t sure was good or not. Joel was the first man to go down on you. Joel was the first man to kiss you without immediately putting his tongue in your mouth. Joel was the first man to be so invested in your relationship, that he asked you out on a date… after you messed around. It stands to reason that Joel may be the first man you genuinely fall in love with. Not puppy love like in high school. Not conditional love based on what he can get out of it. Actual love.
You dawn on this realization quickly, still in the moment and feeling his every move, every grip of his hand or every curl of his fingers. It’s all so instant, and in your present state of mind. Like, every time he moves an inch, it somehow contributes to your relative thought.
“Joel?” you look up at him with glassed over eyes.
He pauses his movements below on account of how sincere you sound.
“Yeah?”
It’s not I love you… not yet. It’s I know you, it’s going to be you.
You reach down between your bodies, his fingers still sheathed in yours, and palm him generously. Without losing eye contact, you undo his jeans, doing your best with one hand to maneuver the waistband of his boxers and pull him from his confinement. You aren’t looking yet… but you know from the feel of his sheer size alone, you’re in for the pain of your life. It bothered you last time, the thought that he may break you on his girth, that you may feel differently or resent him from how he feels… except you don’t feel that way anymore. Because of your aforementioned realization, you now feel that though this may hurt, it would not change your desire for him. He’s not a boy who’s hurting you to get off. He cares about you.
Not just messin’ around…
“You’ve made me wait long enough,” you told him, the awestruck glaze in your eyes slowly fading as your smirk crawled over your face. You grabbed the hem of his shirt, allowing him to help you get it off. Seeing more of his skin, and feeling it against you when he settled back down was elating. It felt like the doorway to something, the hallway leading to reward.
“Baby, you’re still tight, I don’t wan-”
“I’ll be okay, I promise.”
He sighed, trying to look anywhere but your eyes because dammit they were convincing.
“I hurt you, you tell me. Promise that,” he looked at you sternly, and you can’t say you’ve ever seen him so serious like this alone with you. He almost seemed, for lack of a better word, scared. Like you were a flower petal he was afraid to touch for the fear it would fall from the blossom.
“Promise.”
He nodded, smiling weakly, still unsure but willing to let you lead him blindly.
He picked you up and put you down on the proper region of the bed, your head meeting the pillows behind you. You giggled at his rapid motions to strip you of your shirt and bra next, his pent up anticipation now getting the better of him. He’d kicked off the last of his remaining clothing, looking back to you, sprawled out on his bed, waiting patiently for him.
“If we’re gonna do this, we’re doin’ it right,” he joked, crawling back over you.
He nuzzled his nose against yours, then leaned down to collect a kiss. The kiss met your lips but then parted and moved to your neck, then shoulders, licking the sweet spot in the crook between them. He traveled down your chest, his kisses never stopping, although his hands paid special attention to each peak of raised flesh.
Your noises fell on grateful ears, the appreciation for them showing in every eager kiss, every soft grope of your skin. When he reached your lower region, he kissed both thighs apart, lifting one at a time and making sure they were set aside his hips comfortably. Once done, he kissed his way back up. Tentative, and slow. Joel is often strong and silent, and in this instance, it showed immensely. The way he can easily move parts of you around without hassle, and do so without uttering a word. It was dangerously addicting, how he already knew your body so intimately after only a few experiences.
Once his lips again found yours it lasted, and lasted. The feeling of him right against you was breathtaking. No barriers, no clothing, no promises of ‘another time’ between you.
“You let me know, alright?”
You nodded, his voice had become gentler from his first worrisome words minutes ago.
He kept his eyes on you, trying to gauge your reaction moment by moment. You wrapped an arm over his shoulder, holding the hairs at the back of his neck to ground yourself. He lined himself up to you and ever so slowly began to push in, holding himself after the first sharp intake of breath through your nose.
“M’okay,” you said assuringly, the sensation dulling slightly when you focused solely on him and not his actions.
He went further, and deeper, slower than sludge but making sure you could feel every inch comfortably before moving again. You twirled his hair between your fingers, the other hand digging nails into his side. His face, eyes still focused on your expression, was becoming the product of bliss. This entire exchange, the build up, the stretching pain, and the way your lungs couldn’t seem to exhale, was all worth it… just to see this look on his face. The way he was having to fight himself to stay in the moment and not get lost in the euphoria, it was the most beautiful you’d ever seen him. When he was dazed and confused just by feeling you around him.
“You gotta breathe, baby,” he let out, trying to keep your comfort in the forefront of his mind. He took a deep inhale of his own, and when he felt you following his steady pattern he was able to relax a little more, just like you did. “Atta girl, just like that… keep doin’ that.”
He started to move, a single thrust once he could be sure that there wasn’t any stiff pain. The only sting left over was fading, the slow and measured pace he set was becoming like a lifeline. Comparable to a heartbeat. In and out, in and out, the feeling becomes more pleasurable and addictive. You need a heartbeat to live, and in this moment, you need Joel to live, his easy and gentle pace.
“S’good,” you murmured, your eyes fluttering closed and his head dropping to your neck again. “Feels so deep.”
Joel bit down on your skin, tethering himself. The praise was something he wasn’t quite used to. He’s self deprecating to a fault, but hearing the opposite from your lips, which he adores, makes him feel stronger somehow. Keeping a tether is all he can do to keep from rutting against you. He wants so badly for you to be different, to not end up just a one night stand or a friend with benefits. He wants you to feel how much he cares about you, wants to take care of you.
“Doin’ so good, baby,” he whispered, your neck absorbing most of the sound. “Taking me, so tight.”
Your muscles started contracting the moment he sped up his rhythm, only one thrust that was different from the rest. It hit you so fast, the coil in your stomach, building up and aching for relief.
“Joel… shit,” You could barely even get your words out, interrupted by a whimper of white hot euphoria. “I’m gonna…”
“I know,” he growled, his desire to rut into you slowly fading as he increased his pace to meet that carnal need. “I feel you, baby. Give it to me.”
It built only a little more, but then you couldn’t take it. It was too much, too full. The tightness in your stomach burst, letting go of every tense muscle in your body. It was so intense you practically screamed for him, his name a repetitive mantra on your tongue. Joel. Your hips jolted and writhed around, the feeling increasing with every hit against your cervix. Joel. Your walls tightened even more around him, the sting only slightly returning but in a way that made you crave it. Joel. He came right after you, unable to even try pulling out, just for how tightly you held him in. Joel…
He dropped half his weight, pulling away from your neck to kiss your lips. He needed to. It didn’t feel right to stay hidden in your neck when he had such gratification for you right now. The way you made him feel was no simple thing, and he felt you needed to be thanked for that. If a kiss was all he could give you in the moment, then so be it.
Joel…
“I’m sorry,” he let out, leaving his forehead against yours.
“For what?”
“I came in you… I didn’t ask,” he furrowed his brows, hoping you wouldn’t begrudge him too badly. He’d say he got lucky when you pulled him back down for another kiss.
“It’s okay… wanted you to,” you were still coming down from your high, possibly the most intense feeling you’ve ever experienced. He smiled and kissed you again, and again. He shifted the way you both laid, on his side, and brought you close to his chest.
When your breathing went back to normal, you spoke again.
“I was scared, y’know.”
He looked closely at you, unsure of what you meant and why.
“I thought you might hurt me. I didn’t care if you did, but I still thought you might,” you told him, running your fingers in circles over his skin. Though you seemed in bliss, perfectly happy, he couldn’t help but be frightened that maybe you weren’t telling him.
“Did I? Hurt you?”
“No.” you shook your head, holding a smile and making sure he saw it was genuine. “You didn’t hurt me, it was good. Really good. No other guy has ever…”
He again was confused by the trail of your voice… no guy has ever…? Oh, shit.
“No other guy’s made you come before?”
The embarrassed blush on your cheeks told him all he needed to know. You weren’t sure why it was so awkward to let him find that out, but you suddenly felt like you were more of a child, having not experienced things that he has for years before.
“No one before you… and you’ve already got four on the board,” you laughed, trying to make it feel like it wasn’t as big a deal. Like it was funny.
He narrowed his eyes, raising his head up to look at you closer.
“Ranger’s night, last week, tonight… that’s three,” he corrected, counting out on three fingers and holding them up.
“You technically weren’t there the other time,” you smirked, giggling once he looked at you with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.
“Should’ve called me,” he kissed the tip of your nose, your smile still prominent and growing. “I love hearing you.”
Over his shoulder you heard his phone buzzing, once, twice, then three times. He huffed, hoping it wasn’t from someone at the work site that wasn’t able to lock up the property after reviewing.
“Hold on,” he rolled his eyes, turning just far enough to reach his jeans on the ground, pulling his phone from the pocket. He squinted against the harsh light, swiping through the message notifications that appeared when he unlocked the screen. He laughed, turning to you. “S’ your dad.”
“It’s late, I would have thought he was either drunk or asleep by now.”
“Apparently neither,” he slid his phone back on the nightstand, regaining you in his arms. “Wants to know if I’m still awake for a drink.”
You laughed, “Oh, really?”
“Yeah. Not sure if you’ve heard but, you’re actually at a friend’s house till tomorrow.”
“How fun for me… so that means a guy’s night for you and my dad?” You played along with him, the sweet tone in your voice turning teasing.
“It would… too bad I’m already asleep.” He reasoned, which is probably what he would repeat to your dad tomorrow if asked.
“Damn, you old men go to bed early.”
“Hey now… let’s not go crazy.”
-
tags: @justanothersadperson93@moonchild-warrior@hopplessilse @brittmd115 @michilandcof@untamedheart81@just-someone-broken@joelalorian@xybil @yvonneeeee @anoverwhelmingdin@theatrelove3000
#joel the last of us#joel x reader#joel miller age gap#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#dbf! joel miller#dbf!joel miller x reader#dbf!joel miller#dbf!joel#pedro pascal joel miller#troy baker
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don't call me daddy IV
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x little!f!reader
Word count: 5,540
Summary : In a world where littles are openly themselves, they volunteer to help and be helped by willing caregivers. In spite of himself, Bucky finds himself stuck with one and to keep the nagging away, he has to learn how to be around her with everything that that entails.
Warnings: crying, a flu, coughing, shots, age regression
A/N: forgive me for the lateness with this one. i was very sick, like bed-ridden sick, and when i got a little better i got to writing right away. please be kind to me with this one, i'm still high on meds:" please enjoy xx💜💜
~
“Call me daddy.”
“What?” She was suddenly pulling away as if Bucky was made up of scorching metal.
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” He asked with a small smile, wiping any residue tears on his face.
What she wanted… he was only suggesting that she called him daddy because he thought it was what she wanted? Was this his way of returning the favor because she hugged him after a nightmare?
Now she was really hurt.
Bucky was unknowingly emphasizing the fact that he didn’t want this type of relationship, didn’t want her. He was only doing it to show gratitude.
“No.” She shook her head, getting up from the floor.
“No?” Bucky was genuinely confused as he followed her with his eyes.
He thought he was finally making things right, giving her what she wanted.
“I wanna go back.”
“What?!”
“I wanna go back, please take me back.” Her voice wasn’t even sad or frantic, only small and disheartened.
“Back where?! The couch is right there if you wanna go!” Bucky became angry again.
He felt rejected and he felt small. Was it his touch that made her pull back? Was it the daddy thing? Was he so repulsive?
“No, back, out of here.”
“Back where?! It’s the middle of the night!” Bucky raised his voice in frustration, the nightmare nerves barely out of his body.
Has she lost her mind? Why was she acting like this now? What was he supposed to do to please her and her little mind?
“Take me back to Mrs. Morrison,” she insisted calmly as she collected her slippers and stashed them back in her bag.
He looked at her with wide eyes and an open mouth, not getting what happened or where he went wrong.
She wasn’t even tearing up, it was like a switch has flipped inside of her.
“Just— just talk to me, okay? What happened?” Bucky fervently needed her to stop, needed to understand.
“Bucky was right. This isn’t gonna work. Please just take me back.”
Her words reopened Bucky’s wounds that her sweet gestures had once closed. What did she mean “isn’t gonna work”? Was he just deemed irredeemable? Again?
“But why?!”
“I just wanna go back.” Was all she gave him; no explanation and no reasons.
Bucky wouldn’t understand.
“You know what? Fine! I’ll take you back first thing in the morning. Go back to the fucking couch, stay away from me!”
She silently got the wolf stuffie, leaving it on the kitchen counter, and went back, no crying and no trials to correct him on his choice of bad words.
Did she really want to leave? Was she really going to leave him come morning?
~
When it was lit up enough, Bucky went for a run, trying to blow off some steam because he felt like he was about to explode.
Why did he let her in? He shouldn’t have done that. She didn’t deserve to get this close, no one did.
Did he seriously think he was accepted and understood by this stranger after 7 days of time together?
No matter what the purpose she was serving was, she could never understand how hard Bucky had had it.
Still, something kept pulling him to her. Something inside of him didn’t want her to leave him. Not now that he was used to her; that he wanted to be used to her.
It's been only a week and Bucky was ready to give human relationships another chance. She made him feel like healing wasn’t a faraway dream.
He was going to try and talk to her one last time and if she still wanted to leave, he would gladly let her.
When he opened his door, she was dressed and waiting for Bucky on the couch, ready to go.
“So you were serious about leaving?” Bucky asks as he kicks his shoes off.
“Yes. Bucky is gonna take me back, right?”
“If that’s really what you want?”
She didn’t trust her voice so she just nodded.
“Why?”
“Just because.”
“Talk to me like I’m talking to you!” Bucky snapped.
She remained silent this time, not ready for a fight.
“Why do you wanna leave? What did I do?”
“Bucky didn’t do anything.”
“Then what is it?!”
“That is it.”
“What?!”
“Bucky didn’t do anything. Bucky didn’t even look at Doll’s file. Bucky never even called Doll Doll.” Only now did her tears come back, rolling down her cheeks with ease as she spilled out all that she’s been holding inside of her, “Bucky never wanted Doll.”
“I— I didn’t have time to look at the file. We were in a hurry so I picked the first one in the batch!” Bucky tried to explain, but quickly realized what he'd said.
A sob escaped her at the revelation that she was picked at random, that it could’ve been anyone else and that he really never wanted her.
“That’s not what I meant. I— listen, at first maybe I didn’t want you, but it’s different now!”
“Bucky never even picked me?” She cried, her broken voice crushing his heart.
“I—”
“Please take me back.” She wiped at her face, trying to steady her breathing.
“But—”
“Please, Bucky, please.”
The way she begged him with teary eyes and a shaky voice made Bucky stand up despite himself to put his shoes back on to take her back.
He might’ve not gotten a chance to explain himself, but he’s done her enough damage and he wasn’t going to continue being the reason she cried when she has been the reason he stopped.
“Let’s go.” Bucky pursed his lips and opened the door for her, her bag in hand, knowing it will never be the same when he came back.
~
“Doll, now that you’re big at least tell me anything, dear. Did he do anything—”
“He didn’t do anything, Mrs. Morrison. I promise you. Bucky was nothing but a gentleman with me.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s nothing. I just think I wasn’t ready. I shouldn’t have listed my little self as ready.” She shook her head with a polite smile.
Mrs. Morrison wasn’t buying it, but she couldn’t push her anymore.
“Alright, dear. I’ll go finish the report so Bucky’s therapist can get her copy in the morning.”
“Mrs. Morrison, please,” she held the older woman’s hand imploringly, “Bucky didn’t do but good. Make sure you’re just to him in your report.”
“Okay, doll. Whatever you say, dear.” She woman shook her head, giving up the argument before standing up and leaving the room.
It wasn’t the full truth, but she did believe she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t going to be ready for a long time, so it was better if she just went back home and let herself be grounded a little.
~
“Please, I need to see her.” Bucky begged in front of Mrs. Morrison’s desk.
“Not before you tell me what you did to her, Mr. Barnes!”
“I— I didn’t do anything.”
“That’s what she said too, but I know it’s not the truth!”
“Wait, what? I— please let me see her.”
“She’s not here, Sergeant Barnes.”
“What? Where is she?”
“Home,” the woman replied shortly, still mad at Bucky.
“I thought that was where they lived?”
The woman shook her head in disappointment, “you never read your copy of the file, did you?”
Bucky remained silent, too embarrassed to speak. Why did everyone keep asking about the damn file!
“No, they don’t live here. She went back to her life at her house.”
“Well, can you give me the address?”
“Of course, not! That’s private information and you two don’t even seem to have ended on good terms!”
“Please? I need to fix this.”
“You already had time to do that, Mr. Barnes.”
“Well… At least give me a chance to apologize.”
“I don’t know.” The woman hesitated.
“Please, I’ll do anything.” Bucky begged sincerely.
“Anything?” Mrs. Morrison smiled suddenly, making Bucky worry a little, but he meant his words nonetheless.
“Anything.”
~
“Corgi, calm down!” Bucky heard her sweet laugh as she approached the dog’s barks.
“You call your corgi Corgi?” He asked her with a smile.
“Bucky, what are you doing here?” Her smile quickly disappeared and a surprised frown replaced it.
“I—”
“Okay, I finished moving the new planters to the right side like you wanted— hello?” The man who cut Bucky off was offering him a hand.
Bucky shook it coldly, his signature frown staring the man down, “hey.”
“I’m Adam,” the man said with a friendly smile.
“Sergeant James Barnes.”
“Bucky, this is Adam, my best friend and neighbor, Adam, this is Bucky… a friend.” She introduced them, not sure of what to say about Bucky.
Meanwhile, Bucky felt something weigh down on him. Was it the fact that he wished she said more than just “a friend”? Was it the presence of this Adam guy? Was that… jealousy?!
“Right, so I’m gonna go now, but call me if you need anything, okay?” Adam said, looking at them both suspiciously.
“I will. Thank you for today, Adam. You’re the best.” She gave the man a hug, smiling from ear to ear as she did it, too.
That was a smile Bucky has never seen.
“I know I know. Bye, Corgi! Bye, Sergeant, nice to meet you!” Adam shouted as he walked out of her porch.
Bucky only nodded even though he knew the man couldn’t see him. He didn’t care if he was rude. Who was that anyway?
She was expecting Bucky to talk when Adam was gone but he just stood there, fiddling with the bag in his hand as he stared at her, so she didn’t say anything either.
She was done initiating. If he came all the way here on his own, he could start a conversation on his own.
“Who was that?”
“Really? You came all the way here to ask me that?”
He stuttered and swallowed, knowing fully well that he had no right to such a question.
“You seem different.”
“You mean big?” She smiled sadly, noticing how much more comfortable Bucky was dealing with her like that.
Bucky nodded guiltily, scratching the back of his head.
“Yeah, I do have a life and responsibilities after all.” She shrugged, gesturing to her house and the puppy by her feet.
She was disappointed to say the least. First, he gave her a terrible week with him, then he returned her and never looked back and now he was on her porch for no clear reason or explanation, questioning her and her life?
Still, she felt a spark of hope in her chest at the fact that he was standing before her. There must’ve been a reason he came and it couldn’t be so he could fight more.
Bucky felt embarrassed, tongue-tied with guilt as he’s forgotten everything he has been wanting to say.
Then the sky started speaking for him, thundering loudly and making her jump with a hand on her heart.
“Oh, it’s gonna rain. Let’s go inside.”
For some reason, he assumed she was talking to the puppy but when she kept looking at him, Bucky gratefully moved his feet.
~
Her house was the epitome of coziness. It was a true home and it was nothing like Bucky’s.
It had actual furniture, colorful pieces he knew were carefully picked. It had wallpaper and picture frames and kitchenware and cute mugs and plates.
Only now did he know how much shit she could’ve given him for the place he made her stay in, but she didn’t.
“Bucky!”
“Yes?”
“I asked about your favorite tea.” She smiled, motioning to a number of varieties on her shelves.
“A coffee would be fine.”
“I’ll just make you earl grey with me.” She shrugged, ignoring his choice for a coffee at this relatively late hour of the evening.
“Hey!”
“It’s my house, my rules, old man!”
Wow! Big her was kind of feisty and it was making Bucky smile.
“What do you have there?” She asked, looking at the small plastic bag that Bucky’s been carrying in his hand.
“Oh, I— this is for you.” He handed her the bag, cheeks burning as he was still brand new when it came to such gestures.
“Oreos! And wolfie!” She called out happily when she looked inside the bag, “thank you so much!” She squeezed the tips of his fingers, smiling at him like he’d gotten her a rare diamond.
When she let go of his hand to open the package and taste the cookies, Bucky felt fear settle in his chest at the idea of having lost her forever.
He watched her try to hide the hug she was giving the white stuffed wolf before slipping it to her curious dog, “careful, Corgi.”
She didn’t lecture or blame him about his treatment of her, yes, nor did she even bring up the week she stayed at his house, but would she be willing to forgive him? Would she give him another chance?
Instead of screaming at him, she was sitting him down on a comfortable couch that had a soft blanket draped over it and serving him tea and cake. What kind of angel was she?
“If you don’t like it, I’ll make you coffee. But taste it first,” she set the tray with tea cups and a plate with a couple of cake slices on the little wooden coffee table and Bucky knew the smell of this tray was the only thing missing from her living room.
Now it was all perfect. It suited her so well.
“I made lime key cake this morning so you’re in luck. It goes really well with earl grey,” she told him, trying to get him to talk, to tell her why he was at her place a week later at 9 in the evening.
But he only nodded.
She didn’t push him. She has done enough coaxing and enough pushing. She didn’t have to do that anymore. If Bucky wanted to talk, he would have to talk on his own.
But he didn’t.
An hour later, she was getting sleepy and the rain was pouring even harder.
“I— I better go.” He stood up, patting his pockets nervously as if to make sure his belongings were in place.
So he came all the way here for nothing? He found her house and rode on his motorcycle all the way here for nothing?
“No way, you can’t drive your motor cycle in this rain!”
“I’m a super soldier, I don’t get sick,” Bucky argued with a smile, heart swelling at the idea that she still cared for him.
“I don’t care. The roads are slippery. It’s dangerous!”
“But—”
“No buts. You can have my bed, let me show you the room,” she said, never giving him space for a reply as she led the way to her bedroom.
“You really don’t have to. I can take the couch.” Or the floor
“The couch is mine. Corgi cries at night and doesn’t like to sleep alone. He’s still just a puppy.”
“Why don’t you just move his crate to your bedroom?”
“Because there’s a system in this house, Sergeant. We’re disciplined people.” She smiled playfully, “good night.”
And just like that, Bucky was alone in her bedroom, with her bed and sheets and blankets, where all the pillows smelled like her hair shampoo and the air was light and sweet. He was in heaven.
Bucky took his jacket off, draping it over the armchair by her vanity and her perfumes caught his eye.
He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t help himself as he picked up the first bottle and neared it to his nose.
Oh, lord, was this sexy. He imagined himself eating her up if he was to smell this perfume on her skin. It was captivating and it went well with her playful grown up personality.
He tried another bottle and it was a softer scent that he knew all too well. It was the one she wore when she was staying at his house. It smelt angelic, soft and welcoming.
Bucky had to stop himself from going down the line of perfumes because he didn’t think he could keep going.
He’d better go to bed and try to catch a few hours of sleep before the mind attacks started.
Grabbing a pillow that smelled like her, Bucky made himself as comfortable as could be on the wooden floor next to her bed, draping her overly soft blanket on his body.
~
“You call it a disciplined house but you don’t even have a dining table,” Bucky teased as he helped her bring the rest of the plates to the coffee table.
He was right actually. She lied last night. She could easily take Corgi to the bedroom with her, but what kind of hospitality would that be to give Bucky the couch when it was his first time visiting?
“At least my coffee table has space for more than 2 noodle cups,” she teased right back, hardly biting a smile.
Bucky raised an eyebrow at her sassiness, smiling like an idiot at how easy she made everything.
Talking was easy around her. Existing was easy around her. Breathing was easy around her. And oh did he miss her.
“So…” she trailed, pouring orange juice in Bucky’s glass.
She couldn’t stay silent anymore. She had to understand why Bucky found her house and came to her after he’d clearly proven he didn’t want her. She wanted and tried to be the bigger person, but if he had something to say, she was ready to hear it now.
“I— I came here to say I’m sorry,” Bucky finally said the words that have been sitting on the back of his tongue for so long.
“Bucky…” she locked her eyes with his for a second, unable to read him, “you didn’t have to come all the way here. I didn’t tell Mrs. Morrison anything.”
The way she reassured him broke his heart. It was as if she wholeheartedly believed that all Bucky cared about was the final report.
But he cared about so much more. He cared about fixing this. He cared about her.
“I know. I did.”
“What?!”
“I told her everything.”
“Bucky— why?”
“I had to make it right.”
“Well, what did she say?” She chewed her lower lip nervously, worried everything has been ruined for Bucky.
“She made me serve a few hours at the institution and only when she got everyone’s approval did she agree to give me your address.”
“Everyone’s approval of what?” She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
“Of my storytelling skills,” Bucky replied proudly, putting some cheese on her plate for her when he noticed her freeze.
“Your storytelling— what?!” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, a huge smile breaking on her face.
“I spent a few nights reading bedtime stories to the residents there and I’ll have you know I did a pretty good job, though most of them wanted lullabies so I stole some of yours—”
“Hold on! You, Bucky Barnes, read bedtime stories and sang lullabies to littles at the institution?”
“Yes, I did.” Bucky nodded with a shrug.
“You did all of this so you could have my address?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I missed you, doll.”
“Doll?” Her eyes instantly teared up at the sole use of the name coming from him.
“And to tell you that I got to meet everyone that was available at the same time you were and none of them could ever compare. They’re all amazing people, but none of them made me feel like you’ve made me feel in that short week,” Bucky admitted softly, eyes hesitant to leave his fingers.
“I was terrible to you and you didn’t deserve any of it. I’m sorry. I know now that I should’ve been better.”
“Bucky, it’s okay,” she said with a content smile, simply satisfied with his presence as she passed him the bread. That apology was genuinely enough for her.
“No, doll, it’s not. I— I did the opposite of everything a caregiver should’ve done. It's just… you made me nervous, scared.” Bucky admitted.
“I scared you?” She scoffed in surprise. She wasn’t expecting this one.
“Yes. The way you were fully yourself, the way you weren’t afraid to show it, the way you did the effort to relieve yourself of whatever you were suffering from, it all scared me. How you openly cried when you needed to. It scared me because I didn’t know how to be like you. I didn’t know how to choose trust and kindness again after everything that had happened to me. Your courage scared me.”
“Oh, Bucky.” Tears rolled down her face as she desperately felt the need to hold him and kiss every inch of him better, “why didn’t you talk to me? I would’ve understood.”
“I tried… that day… but talking about it made me wanna close up on myself even more. It made me more scared. It wasn’t easy. It isn’t easy. And I can’t help it,” Bucky’s voice trembled as he fought his own tears.
He couldn’t believe he said those words out loud to someone else.
She left her seat and went to sit next to Bucky on the couch, her hands finding his and holding onto them for dear life.
“But when I came home to an empty living room after dropping you off at the institution, I knew what I'd lost. I realized what an asshole I’ve been to you. And I missed you. I missed you so much when I closed the door and you weren’t on the couch looking at me,” he poured his heart out to her with tears in his eyes.
She squeezed his hand more, trying to hug his fingers with hers but they were too short to fully cover his hands.
“You don’t have to give me another chance, but I felt like I could’ve died if I didn’t tell you how sorry I was and am. I’m sorry I didn’t give myself time to understand you and appreciate you for everything that you were, doll. I’m sorry I was so stupid and let you slip away from my hands. I’m sorry I was undeserving of your kindness and softness and love,” Bucky told her with tears pouring down his face, matching hers as she finally got to listen to all that he had to say.
“I really am sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to be a good daddy to you and I’m sorry I didn’t try to learn. It’s all my fault because you, doll, deserve someone who would bust their ass trying for you,” Bucky sighed, “but if you’d let me, I’ll spend as much time as you’ll allow me doing that.”
“Thank you for finding me.” She threw herself in his arms and Bucky felt his soul come back to him as he held her tight to his body.
“Thank you for welcoming me back in despite everything I’ve put you through. I know I don’t deserve it.” Bucky squeezed her closer, the smell of her hair calming his senses.
“You’re welcome.” She pulled back to wipe his tears away, giving him a smile prettier than anything he’s ever seen, “now let’s eat before the eggs go cold.” She wiped her eyes quickly before grabbing the spoon and putting some eggs on Bucky’s plate.
“Does that smile mean you forgive me, doll?” Bucky asked hopefully.
“I forgive you, Sarge.” She smiled at him, what was in her heart showing in her eyes.
“You won’t regret it,” he promised, putting some food in his mouth to stop any upcoming tears.
They ate silently in peace for a second before Bucky spoke out.
“Seriously though, who was that Adam guy?!”
“Way to ruin a moment, Bucky,” she teased.
But Bucky didn’t smile. He remained silent waiting for her answer with a tiny frown.
“I told you he’s my best friend and he lives next door.”
Bucky’s frown deepened slightly. So that man got to see her every day huh?
“With his wife,” she added, biting back a smile as she watched his face relax.
“Don’t toy with me like that, doll.”
“I couldn’t help it. This is all new to me and I’m having fun!”
“Does he come here a lot?”
“Yes, Bucky. It’s what friends do, they visit,” she laughed.
“I don’t see Sam that often and we’re fine.” He shrugged unconvincingly, making her laugh more.
“He’s a good man, you’ll come to like him. Plus, he helped me a lot those past weeks and took care of my garden and Corgi while I was away so I owe him.”
“So I’m seeing a farmer now?” Bucky teased.
“Oh look who’s not so quiet anymore!” She teased back with a giggle, “at least my fridge never runs out of tomatoes.”
“Can I ask you something?” Bucky asked, his face serious again.
She nodded in reply, a smile gracing her patient features.
“Why did it bother you so much when I told you to call me daddy?”
She hummed, letting go of her fork.
“It’s okay if you don’t wanna answ—”
“It made me feel like you were returning a favor. Doing something because you felt like you had to do it, like it was the right thing to do, but not because you really wanted it. Yes, I wanted to call you daddy with my whole heart, but only if you wanted it too. It hurt because at the time I knew you still hadn’t accepted me for who I was and was just saying that so you could repay me for the hug I was giving you.”
“I’m so sorry.” Bucky shock his head in remorse, “I will never understand how you managed to put up with me for a whole week.”
“It’s because I know what it’s like to feel unwanted, Bucky. I know what it feels like to be unloved and unaccepted, especially by those who should give you unconditional love.”
“Family?” Bucky asked with a sad smile.
She nodded with a similar smile, “I know what it’s like to be more than your pain and anger with others only seeing the snapping and frowning. Little me doesn’t want anyone else to feel unloved like that because she knows how bad it all is. So she gives. She’s patient and she’s kind and sometimes I don’t think I could’ve accessed that part of myself if it wasn’t for her.”
“How so?”
“Grown ups are more cautious because they always have the consequences to things like vulnerability right in front of their eyes. We’re more likely to be afraid to show our hearts because we know we could get hurt bad because of it. Little me isn’t scared of that. She wakes up brand new every day. She wears her heart on her sleeve and trusts her love to do the magic.”
“You’re an amazing person.” Bucky raised her hand to his lips to press a timid kiss without much thought, “I guess I have a lot to learn from you, doll.”
“Don’t say stuff like that!” She whined playfully, cheeks going hot as she turned away shyly, “plus, do you have a death wish?” She raised a playful eyebrow.
“It’s true though— what?”
“I didn’t give you permission to kiss me,” she teased, reminding him of the time she kissed his cheek on her first day at his house.
Bucky smiled sheepishly, whispering out an apology even though he knew she was joking.
Bucky stopped himself when she started coughing abruptly.
She’s been coughing a little here and there since morning, but he didn’t think anything of it.
She shook her head, still coughing as she ran to the bathroom, needing to find any sort of cold medicine. She knew what this was.
Bucky hurried behind her, “what’s wrong?”
In a second, she was bending forward, coughing her heart out.
“Are you okay?!”
She shook her head again, trying to calm down, “I thought it was just a sore throat but it’s getting worse.”
“Let’s get you to the doctor,” Bucky said, worry eating away inside his chest as he watched her cough more.
He quickly grabbed her jacket and keys, leading her out to her car.
~
“It’s because I let you sleep on the couch, isn’t it? You got cold,” Bucky said, running his fingers through his hair nervously as he paced around the room.
He hasn’t stopped blaming himself since they’d returned from the doctor’s. She caught a bad flu and Bucky quickly believed it was his fault.
“No, Bucky. It’s not that.”
“You don’t have to defend me, doll. It’s because of me. I’ve managed to hurt you again. And I don’t even use beds. I should’ve never let you sleep out here.”
“Hey! Calm down please! It’s not you... It was me.” She released a sigh, biting her lip.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when the rain got even worse after you went to bed. I thought I’d come out and cover the motorcycle so that it wouldn’t get all muddy and you’d have a hard time cleaning it,” she explained, fiddling with her fingers.
“That’s still because of me,” Bucky sighed.
“Come on, it’s not like you made me!” Her hoarse voice tried to reassure.
Bucky only ran his fingers through his messy hair again, not knowing what to say or do to make this one right.
“Bucky, please, I’m sick. All I want is for you to stay beside me and not blame yourself.” Her frown was back to her beautiful face and Bucky didn’t like it, “can you do that for me?”
He didn’t like how sick and scratchy her voice sounded either so he wasn’t about to make talk more with a throat like that.
“I’ve already proven I suck at taking care of you, doll,” Bucky chuckled sadly.
“Do you want forgiveness or not?” She joked.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’m right here.”
“Is it dangerous for you though? I don’t want you to get it too.”
“I can’t get sick, remember?” Bucky smiled, rubbing her back lightly, “I’m your nurse now.”
“Is that so?” She giggled.
“Yeah.” He nodded confidently.
“You’re definitely not dressed for it,” she teased, giving him her tongue.
“Oh, are you into that kinda thing, doll?” He raised an eyebrow, a playful smile she has never seen before on his pink lips.
“Bucky!” She squealed, hiding her face with the covers, making Bucky laugh.
The sound was heaven to her ears and despite being awfully sick, she couldn’t wish for a better outcome for Bucky’s visit.
“Shit, here it comes again,” she gulped before starting another fit of harsh coughing.
“Bad word,” he whispered to her, making her smile tiredly as she continued coughing.
~
“I don’t wanna go,” she whined as Bucky gently forced her arm inside her jacket.
“We have to. You need your shots to get better.” Bucky covered her head with the hood of her jacket to make sure she was warm before leading her outside.
“But shots hurt,” she whined more with teary eyes.
“I’ll be right there, remember?”
“That’s not gonna do anything!” She whined further.
“Hey!” Bucky pretended to be hurt as he helped her inside the car.
She sighed with a grateful smile, “fine, hugs or I don’t go.”
“Hugs it is.” Bucky smiled back, taking seat next to her before starting the car.
~
“No, no, no, please. I’m not ready, I don’t want it. Give me pills instead, give me pills,” she cried in Bucky’s chest as she saw the doctor get the shot ready.
“Doll, it’s okay, I promise. I got you,” Bucky said, feeling as helpless as ever.
He wished he could get the shots for her, but it wasn’t possible. He could feel something different about her. She looked like she was slipping into her little headspace and it made Bucky nervous, oh so nervous, that he might mess up and not be able to deal with her again.
She barely calmed down enough for Bucky to help her small hands lower her pants just enough for the doctor to have space to push the needle in.
She moaned in pain as she hid her face in Bucky’s chest, crying for real when she felt the strong medicine inside the needle spread inside her.
“It stings. It stings bad,” she sobbed, hands clutching Bucky’s shirt as he covered her behind again and made sure she was properly covered.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. We’re going home now, it’s over,” Bucky cooed, rubbing and patting her back with his big hand.
“It hurts, daddy,” she sniveled in his ear and Bucky froze.
Those innocent teary eyes looking up at him like that made him feel a lot of things. But most importantly, they made him feel like he could do this. He could take care of this sweet girl without messing up this time. Her love would show him how.
“I got you, doll. Daddy’s got you.”
~
part V
~
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7 Misused Tropes (And How to Improve Them)
Tropes in isolation aren’t inherently bad, but a lot of them are prone to poor execution. Each one of these probably could have a whole post by themselves. A few of these used to be good but have since fallen by the wayside as their original meaning has been lost.
7. Dramatic Miscommunication
You know the ones. I think it’s worse when the story is otherwise good, the writers just could not come up with a better way to get X alone or send Y off on the necessary side quest than the lowest of low hanging fruit.
Two essential ingredients for fixing this trope: Precedent and consequences
Precedent–have the character doing the missassuming already be prone to jumping to conclusions, already suspicious or insecure, or misled by a third party so this looks inevitable, instead of pulled out of your ass.
Consequences–usually these are big blow up fights that fizzle out without any impact on the plot once they fulfill their purpose, but if it’s a nasty enough fight, characters shouldn’t just forgive and forget. While they might not completely ruin relationships, it should have characters taking a step back and either second guessing where they stand, or using this blowup to fix an underlying issue in said relationship.
6. Love Triangles
Good Love Triangle for the first 3 seasons: Elena/Stefan/Damon (TVD).
Bad Love Triangle for the entire series: Bella/Edward/Jacob (Twilight).
The difference between them (besides time to flesh out both candidates) is that both brothers brought valid pros and cons to Elena’s life, both got the chance to be with her, and Elena’s whole arc wasn’t solely focused on the agonizing choice of which brother she should pick. Regardless of which camp you’re in, Stefan brought stability, that classic cliché high school romance, mostly all good vibes. He never challenged her or talked down to her or got aggressive with her. Damon did the opposite, for better or for worse, and we know which direction the show went.
On the other hand, Jacob never for one second stood a chance with Bella and the narrative wasn’t kidding anyone. They never so much as went on one date (unless you count the motorcycle ride) and it seemed like Bella was only letting him hang on for pity’s sake. Theoretically he brought pros to the table that Edward couldn’t (like, idk, being alive), but the narrative never explored what could be done with him. He just ended up being the Nice Guy friend who then decided it’d be hot to lust after an infant.
5. Agency-less Chosen Ones
These tend to be wish fulfillment characters that bring nothing to the story and have no discernible skills, yet are constantly in the middle of the action, have all the love interests fawning over them, and are Important and Critical to saving the world… because the narrative said so. They don’t make a single choice the entire plot except to move forward or stagnate, chosen by the gods or a prophecy or fate and destiny.
The problem: These characters walk with the crutch of “I’m the chosen one thus I don’t need a reason to exist in the story” and that’s just not a satisfying narrative shortcut. So? Give them agency. Even if they’re chosen by some ancient prophecy, you still have to convince the reader why the Universe wasn’t just talking out of its ass.
Good example: Emmet from Lego Movie literally says he’s useless and has no skills and cannot think outside the Lego box. He’s supposed to be as generic as painfully possible and when he does have creative ideas, they’re supposed to be asinine and stupid. And yet. He might be physically dragged around by the other characters, but he has plenty of choices, plenty of opposition to what’s happening, plenty to say about the state of his world, and his ideas do matter and his intimate knowledge of the instructions and playing by the rules is how they win.
4. Bad Boy Love Interests
These guys were supposed to be counter-culture icons, standing up to The Man for the little guy because he knows the system is broken and rigged. He’s an affront to the stereotypical nuclear lifestyle, he resents a robotic and soulless office job and wants to create art or music or in some way benefit his world and isn’t going to play nice just to get his way. He exists in contrast to the nuclear female protagonist: Conservative, demure, rule-following caged bird who falls in love with him because he shows her that life isn’t meant to be lived in The Man’s cage. He respects the authority that deserves respect, the teachers who actually give a shit, the janitors, the librarians, but probably not the principal or the police or the local politicians, because he knows they don’t respect him and respect is a two-way street. He’s probably a mama’s boy or at the very least loves his parents (if they’re alive) and while he might engage in a little property damage like graffiti, it’s for a good cause.
This dude is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE: Abusive, controlling, aggressive, or condescending to his love interest. He’s not supposed to be an overprotective stalker or plagued by insecure jealousy over any other man in his love interest’s life. He’s not rude to his friends or arrogant about his own smarts and doesn’t think he knows best about every little thing in the world. He’s not sexist or racist just to make himself feel better and he doesn’t pressure his love interest into sex because she owes him or whatever.
Ahem.
Please bring back classic bad boys. That is all.
3. Major Character Death (for shock value)
I remember the implosion of the Walking Dead fandom after they killed Carl, one of the very few characters who was supposed to make it to the end, for… various sketchy reasons and I could never figure out what was true. Some theorized that his actor was aging out of the ‘child actor’ payscale and they didn’t want to pay him as an adult and while I have no proof, it wouldn’t surprise me at all.
Carl died after getting bit in just one of those hectic moments where he got unlucky, while doing something noble and stupid. In isolation, it fits the nature of the “anyone can die” show but man did it just come across in poor taste.
Obviously “for shock value” shouldn’t be the reason you do anything in your story but there is still a way to pull it off without it causing a riot: Make sure they get killed in a non-contrived way. If you plan on killing off one of your heroes suddenly, either make it bitterly ironic, or make it a situation that this character would absolutely get themselves into. The more it “fits” the less likely audiences will see the hand of the author coming in just to break the character’s fictional contract.
2. The Power Inside You All Along
This trope is usually disappointing because it tends to melt a character’s whole arc down into something pointless—this whole adventure was apparently useless if they didn’t actually need to grow or change or challenge their conceptions of the world. They could have got up off the couch as joe shmoe and beat the villain day one.
While that’s probably not what their creator intends, ‘it was inside you all along *wink*’ tends to feel that way, as it discourages internal conflict. Usually, their creator is likely trying to convey the message that one need not change, that it’s what’s inside them already that makes them special.
I present to you once again Kung Fu Panda’s “there is no secret ingredient” i.e. “the power inside you”. The difference is. Po still has plenty of internal conflict: his own self-confidence. He begins the movie eager but inexperienced and a bit oblivious, fanboying it up around his heroes. He and Shifu both insult his weight and his lacking kung fu skills, and his arc is learning self-confidence, learning how to use his weight and the body he has to fight in a way that the villain isn’t prepared for, to where Po can shit-talk him to his face during the final fight.
Most failures of this trope don’t bother exercising their protagonist. They’re pissy and resistant for the entire story and only win when the narrative agrees they were right all along. Therefore, no change, no conflict, no resolution.
1. Strong Female Characters
So many of these read like "slapped boops on a male character". They don’t work for many reasons (usually being very preachy with their agendas), but they especially don’t work when by trying to be pro-feminist, they’re still reinforcing masculine standards. A lot of people, when Captain Marvel came out, said “you didn’t have any issues with Tony Stark being an asshole but now you do when he’s a woman” which. No.
Tony was an asshole, but being an asshole was the whole point of his character, and he got humbled right quick by getting blown up and held hostage. “Proof that Tony Stark Has a Heart” and all that.
Carol was an asshole with nothing to substantiate it, and never got a reality check. She had amnesia so we didn’t get insight into who she was before to understand this transition into dickishness and was so OP, she wasn’t ever physically or emotionally challenged like Tony was.
But the other thing is this: Slapping boobs on a male character with a slew of toxic masculine traits also says that to be a successful woman, you must behave like a man. It swings so far from the femme fatale sexy leg lamp that it comes around and eats its own tail. These characters are just mean and insecure and build themselves up by tearing down the men around them.
So. Calhoun from Wreck it Ralph is this exact trope done extremely well. She’s aggressive, arrogant, loud, rude, and cynical. For about 10% of her arc. The movie immediately throws her into a situation where her strengths are basically useless—she’s stuck in Candy Land and has to rely on someone who is the antithesis of her game and character to make it out. The movie also shows you why she’s cynical via her tragic backstory.
Not only that, she’s more than just a heap of toxic masculinity in a pixie cut. She laughs, she cries, she admits when she’s wrong, she has a soft side, a gentle side, a caring side, and remains a badass through and through.
Or, once again rolling out Tigress from Kung Fu Panda: Proud, aggressive, the snubbed chosen one, cynical, mean, and overconfident in her abilities. Tigress nearly gets her entire team killed in her arrogance. She’s allowed to be wrong, very wrong. She also has her soft moments and, like Calhoun, has a very valid reason for being jaded, and is still shown to be capable of softness and nurturing during the evacuation.
Third example to hammer home that I don’t hate badass women: Andromache. Jaded, overconfident, short-tempered, aggressive, and a little mean-spirited. Tragic explanatory backstory? Check. She is also caring and loyal to her team, allowed to get emotional, allowed to be wrong and fail and lose, and kind of the surrogate mom of the team, who can also laugh and joke around and have light-hearted moments.
Whether the character is a man or a woman, being an arrogant asshole who takes zero accountability and refuses to admit when they’re wrong and never loses, audiences aren’t going to like them.
#writing#writeblr#writing a book#writing advice#writing resources#writing tools#writing tips#character development#character design#love triangle#bad boys#chosen one#strong female character#killing characters#long post
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WHO’S BETTER THAN ME?
RIO x blackfem!reader (oc - Angel)
“After their breakup a decade ago, Rio reunites with high school sweetheart making up for lost time—”
PARING: Exes to Lovers / Past High School Sweethearts
SUGGESTED TUNES 💿: Tu Principe by Daddy Yankee, What You Want by Ma$e & Total, Throwback by Usher & Jadakiss, Thugman by Tweet & Missy Elliott, Only U by Ashanti
CONTENTS: 18+ MDNI, SMUT, or*l (fem receiving), f*ngering, praise k*nk, slight possessive k*nk, Rio being a bedroom bully lol, some light use of Spanish, makeup s*x, cursing, etc. (UNEDITED/ NOT PROOF READ) / GIF CREDIT: @blackisblackisblack
AUTHOR’S NOTE: this was supposed to be a drabble but turned into a full-blown fic, but anyway LOL. so i did a lil AU for rio, essentially he pulled a griselda blanco moved operations to Long Beach (Rio is so west coast coded to me) but yeah, the backstory of these two is that they were childhood friends turned high school sweethearts (class of 2005 in my AU lore of these two, hints at the music choices, etc.) before they went separate ways yada yada, the oc’s face claim is danielle brooks 💖 as always enjoy y'all
Makeup sex shouldn’t be this good. Like this was too good, like ultimate dream-fantasy level type of makeup sex. It felt unreal, except this was very real. Very, very, real.
Angel never imagined that her night would've ended up like this, in the arms of her high school sweet-heart, or rather sitting on top of a very expensive, entry way console, as her high school-sweetheart-turned-ex, used his nimble hands to fondle at her luscious curves, and pillowy-soft lips to suck on the sensitive part of her neck. From how hard Rio sucked and kissed on her neck it was surely going to leave a hickey, which might've been on purpose on Rio's part.
Since they were young, Rio always had a slight possessiveness towards Angel, nothing that was too domineering or chauvinistic, but still a possessiveness that was rooted in a love and a true appreciation of her. This of course was expressed in a way that only a sixteen-year-old Rio could, buying Angel's favorite snacks for school, littering her neck with hickeys during make-out sessions, and even saving what little he had to buy a gold necklace with an angel shaped pendant. It was the subtle ways Rio showed how he felt. That in addition to the verbal ways, in true young-Rio, braggadocious fashion. Even then Angel knew, deep, deep, down, that there would be no one who could measure up, or as Rio so accurately foretold the night of their break-up, "Who else is like me, hm? Who's better than me?"
Angel of course buried that fact deep into her subconscious, well, not deep enough, because in each of her relationships since, it managed to rear its ugly head every single time. Most recently, with her ex-fiancé, Nathan. Nathan was great at first, good conversation, amazing dates, lavish gifts, he treated her like princess. But slowly, over time, Nathan stopped trying, it especially became bad after their engagement. They rarely talked, unless it was about work, or wedding plans, he neglected her, especially in the bedroom. Angel soon realized that despite Nathan's neglectfulness, she made no effort to confront him about it. She didn't care, not a single bit. In the end, Angel had to accept that her heart belonged to someone else. That Rio was the only man for her.
Which brings her too tonight, Angel's high school class's reunion. It was a big one, celebrating 20 years, and Angel thought it would be the perfect remedy to cheer her up. She could let loose, reunite with some old classmates, and celebrate with her friends she's had since then. Something that could put her mind at ease, pull her focus away from the abysmal ending to her engagement.
She was having a good time, truly, cutting up on the dance floor to a killer set of music from 04' and 05', with her besties, Clarissa, Benny, Keke, and Dre. Angel was having the time of her life, dancing to Lose My Breath by Destiny's Child, when her friends froze, their eyes all staring at the bar of the ballroom. Clarissa leaned and whispered.
"Rio's, here."
Angel's mind and heart went to full overdrive, as memories of their relationship flooded her mind. Apparently, while Angel and her friends were having the time of their lives, Rio showed up and instantly became the talk of the town. He had a few breezy conversations with old classmates, charming them of course, and when asked about what does for a living, he smoothly responded that he was an entrepreneur, that he's always been good with numbers. Which wasn't a complete lie, but it wasn't the truth either. Of course, none of their classmates were aware of Rio's true dealings, only Angel and her close circle were privy to that info.
Despite the nerves that bubbled in her stomach, Angel, knew that she had to face Rio at some point. She marched over and sat at the bar next to him. After some awkward pretense, more on Angel's part than Rio's, and shot of whiskey later, they talked. The conversation flowed and soon before they knew, it was like old times. They caught up and laughed about old memories. More and more Angel felt her heart swell in her chest, her latent feelings for Rio were bubbling to surface. But Rio surprised her, after sharing a couple dances to slow jams, a proposition slipped freely from his lips.
"Come home with me?"
From a safe distance, her friends watched the exchange, seeing the chemistry they still had after all this time, and despite some reservations, they encouraged to follow her heart, or as Keke put it, her pussy. When they were parting ways, Clarissa hugged her tight and encouraged her, whispering in her ear, "Just go with him, girl. Have some fun, we both now you deserve it after the shit you've been through."
So, here she was, whimpering and writhing underneath Rio's touch, while simultaneously admiring the backyard view. An ink-colored sky served as a gorgeous back drop, for the glowy lit infinity pool, in the distance was twinkling lights from buildings near the coastal beach. It was truly a sight to see. Angel snapped back to reality when she felt a firm hand, cradle her chin.
"Where'd you go?" Rio asked. His Coca-Cola colored eyes stared back at her. His head tipped to side, long eye lashes fluttering against the tops of cheeks as he blinked.
His gaze was heavy was lust, completely unrelenting. Its intensity caused Angel to squirm in her seated position. A warmth bloomed underneath her skin as she rubbed at the part of her neck Rio just was. It was still wet from his kisses.
"N-nowhere, baby," Angel stammered.
Slowly, Rio lips curled into a half smile.
"Good," Rio nodded his head as his gaze traveled down to Angel's chest, zeroing in on the exposed skin the peeked through her top, "now take this shit off. I wanna see them titties, Nena."
Completely under his spell, Angel quickly took of her top, leaving her in a lacy, cerulean colored bra, her mini skirt, and a pair of thoroughly soaked panties. Immediately Rio, hand's palmed at Angel's breasts, rubbing and squeezing them. A soft moan escaped her lips, as Rio's lips latched onto one of nipples.
"Yes, baby," Angel sighed, her hands cradled Rio's head close to her. His tongue alternated between soft flicks and harsh sucks at her left nipple. He released her nipple with a pop and went to the right nipple, repeating the same thing, "Fuck, baby, just like that. Shit!"
Angel could feel the wetness pool inside of her panties, as her clit began to throb. She needed Rio, real bad.
"Damn," Rio breathed out. He pulled away from Angel's chest, while his large hands rubbed at her ample thighs. His lips curled into a wicked smile as he admired his handywork. Angel's boobs glistened with sweat, as her hardened nipples stood at full attention, with spit dripping from them, "I missed them titties, girl. Fuck, I need to that pussy too. Lift up for me."
Angel obliged. Rio supported her with one hand, while with the other, slipping off her mini skirt and panties. He tossed the skirt to the floor, while he pocketed her panties. A storm swirled in his eyes, a thick haze of lust, as he admired Angel's, wet, glistening, pussy.
"I dunno if I can wait, mama," Rio rasped. He brought a finger to Angel's core, swiping at her wetness, and brought it back to his lips, sucking on it, "You taste good, mama. All this shit for me?"
Angel nodded. "Yes, it's all for you baby,"
Wordlessly, Rio plunged his fingers inside of Angel, who let out a yelp in response. He quickly fell back into old habits, fucking Angel with his fingers, just the way she liked it.
"Yeaaahhh, just like that," Rio rasped, he bent down and licked at her lips, "Be a good girl and fuck my fingers back," Angel whined loudly, following his instructions, lifting her hips slight and fucked his thick, fingers.
"Fuck! I'm close baby!"
"I gotchu, mama. Fuck, I feel you on my fingers. You gonna let me take care of you, huh? I'll give you anything you want mama, fuck, you being so good for me. Cum for me, darlin',"
And she did. Angel's eyes squeezed shut as she gushed over his fingers. A string of curses and pleases slipped from Angel's lips as Rio continued to fuck her through her orgasm. She could feel the cum slipping down her thighs.
"Mi alma, you look so good cummin' for me," Rio praised her. He captured her lips and kissed her sweetly. His tongue swirled around in her mouth as mimicking the move with his fingers. Angel pulled away from him, mewling.
"Riooooo, fuck, slow down baby,"
Rio landed a firm smack on Angel's ass. He cradled Angel's chin bringing her eyes towards him. His eyes hardened a bit, still holding its lustful haze, now a bit possessiveness broke through. Rio crooked his fingers, slowing down his pace just a tad, but driving into Angel's pussy much harsher and deeper.
"Fuck, I say about that shit," He growled.
"Shit! Baby, I-I'm s-sorry," Angel whimpered. Her mind flickered back to them making out in the car, he only to wanted to her his name, his real one, "Christopher, 's too much,"
A look of pure satisfaction bloomed across Rio's face. Got her.
"Just one more, mama. Be a good girl for me," Rio sunk down to knees, he slowly placed small kisses at Angel's inner thighs. He worshiped the plushness of her thighs, while Angel writhed and whined. He inched closer, spreading Angel's thighs further apart. He admired how she dripped around his fingers. "Fuck, mama I want you to cum on my tongue, 'k?"
Rio kept his eyes on Angel as he licked at her entrance, swirling his tongue around his fingers, continuing on until he reached her clit. Rio pressed a soft kiss to Angel's clit.
"Christopher!" Angel shouted.
Rio worked in tandem, his long fingers plunged in and out of Angel's, while his tongue swirled around her clit, flicking at the sensitive bud. Angel's hands rubbed at the soft hair of Rio's buzzcut, while the familiar thrumming of her orgasm quickly approached.
"Christopher, fuck, I'm soooo close,"
Rio pulled back, "Say it again,"
"Christopher,”
“Again,”
“Christopher, Christopher, Christopherrrrr, keep fuckin’ me, I’m so close,”
Rio grinned as he returned to her pussy. He latched onto her clit, sucking so harshly, Angel for sure believe that it was going to be bruised. His fingers fucked her even faster, as she clenched around them, as Rio French-kissed her pussy. He was completely relentless, wanting to see her cum, again, again, and again. With one last, harsh suck at her clit, Angel, exploded. She screamed in pleasure as she rode out her orgasm. Rio rose up, slowly pumping his fingers, before pulling out.
"Did so good for me," He mumbled against her cheek, holding her close as Angel rode out the aftershocks.
“I love you so much, baby,” Angel whispered in his ear.
Rio captured her lips again, kissing Angel. He licked at her mouth, allowing Angel to taste herself. Rio arms snaked around Angel's torso, and with ease, managed to throw her over his shoulder. Angel giggled and kicked her feet and Rio moved to the stairs.
"Baby! What are you doing?"
"It's time for the real show to start, Nena," Rio teased, he playfully smacked her ass, "You ready for me?"
"Always."
#siribaesfics#rio x reader#rio x black!reader#rio x blackfem!reader#rio x blackcurvy!reader#good girls fanfiction#black fanfiction#poc fanfiction
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The Paths We Choose
Pairing: Hermione x reader, Cho Chang x reader, Hermione x Ron
Summary: Hermione makes a choice that changes your relationship for the long run
Word Count: ~2.9k
Warning: Angst? Kind of a happy ending (Depending on who you want to end up with)
A/N: This was a request from a minute ago, but I am happy that I did because I LOVE THIS STORY! Please like, repost, and comment
Masterlist
I make my way to my shared tent with Hermione, hoping that she wasn’t in there. I open the tent slowly and see that she isn’t. I let out a deep breath and crawl into my sleeping bag. Things between Hermione and me have been rocky for the past couple of months or so. It all started when I noticed Hermione and Ron had been spending more time with each other.
I knew that I shouldn’t have been upset because they are best friends. They were close even before I met her. I knew that Ron had a crush on her before we started dating in year 3, but this time it's different. I have always felt like an outsider within the golden trio. It felt like I was butting into a group I didn’t belong in. They are giving each other those longing looks that Hermione used to give me. Everyone told me that I was just seeing things and nothing was happening between them. Even Harry said so!
For a while, I believed what everyone was saying until the day of our anniversary. I walked up the steps to the Gryffindor girl’s room. It was a quiet night in the dorms from what I remember. The fire was lit, casting a dim light through the dorm. The smell of a warm fire and fresh pine nuts lingered in the air. I remember my heart pounding out of my chest and my hands getting sweaty. I went up the stairs and heard shuffling in the room. I went for the door handle until I heard a voice.
“I can’t believe you’ve been dating her for four years now,” a voice says. My heart drops to my stomach because I know it to be Ron on the other side of this door. I stand there, frozen in place, hoping that Hermione will defend our relationship.
“I know, but I can’t break things off with her. I would just feel bad. Let’s just keep doing what we’ve been doing, okay?” Hermione says, and then I hear more lip-smacking. I can feel a tear forming in my eyes.
I ran out of the Gryffindor dorm and started wandering around the cold, empty castle at night. How could she think like that? We have been together for four years at this point. I gave her all of me! She’s going to throw it away and not even say it to my face!
All I could think about on the way there was: What did I do wrong? I thought I was the perfect girlfriend. I supported her through everything! I was there every time Malfoy called her a mudblood! I was there all hours of the night studying with her so she didn’t have to be alone! I was always there! I never asked too much of her! This whole time, she was cheating on me with Ron!
All I needed was comfort and support, so I made my way to the only person who could give me that. I held my tears and went to the only person that came to mind, Cho Chang. I knew she would be in the Astronomy Tower working on her homework, so that’s the next place I went.
—
I start climbing the stairs to get to the Astronomy Tower to see my closest, dearest friend. At first, I thought it was Hermione, but after everything tonight, I know deep down in my heart that person is Cho. We have been friends since year one. We do everything together. We laugh, cry, eat, and hang out with each other every day. She helps me with my classes that I struggle in. She never judges me for it. I used to hate asking her for help because I felt like a burden on her. Every time I would ask her, she would look at me with a smile and say, “Of course I’ll help you! Now get over here, silly.” I run up the last flight of stairs out of breath to see Cho is the only one up here tonight, thankfully.
“Hey Y/N! What’s up?” Cho says with a smile on her face but changes once she sees me crying. She gets up from her spot and rushes over to me. She cradles my face with her hands and wipes my tears with her thumb.
“What happened?” Cho asks softly, but I can see the anger behind her eyes.
“It’s… It’s…” I try to tell her what happened, but instead, I start crying and fall to the floor. Cho holds me tight and doesn’t let me go.
“Take your time. I’m right here when you need me,” Cho says and kisses the top of my head. After a couple of minutes of Cho letting me cry on her shoulder while she rubs my back, I get the courage to talk.
I sit up from my position and look into Cho’s eyes. I can see her pupils dilate at the sight of me, and I smile.
“There’s my silly girl smiling,” Cho says with a smile, the kind that makes me feel warm on the inside, the kind that makes me almost forget about what just happened.
“Now are you going to tell me what happened?” Cho asks cautiously. I nod and tell her everything that just happened and the signs that pointed to it.
“I can’t believe she could do that to you,” Cho stands up and starts to walk to the door.
“Where are you going?” I ask, getting up too.
“I’m going to kick Hermione and Ron’s asses for hurting you.” I grab Cho’s hand and stop her from going. I lower my head, too afraid to look her in the eye.
“Please no, stay with me instead. I can’t be alone right now, and all I want is you. You are all I need and want right now,” I say in a soft voice.
“Okay, let’s go back to my room and we can snuggle in my bed while watching TV,” Cho says with that smile. I nod, and we spend the rest of the night together.
Hermione never came looking for me that night and didn’t remember our anniversary.
—
Ever since that night, I’ve been distant from Hermione and spending most of my time with Cho. She is so understanding and thoughtful with me through this time. I would have thought this would make her not want to be my friend anymore since I was being so needy, but no. This has strengthened our friendship more than I would have ever thought; maybe even more than Hermione’s and my relationship.
It surprised me when Hermione asked me to come with her, Ron, and Harry on this Horcrux hunt. We haven’t been hanging out as much because either I am hanging out with Cho or she is hanging out with Ron. When we hang out, we just talk about school and basic things.
It saddens me that she hasn’t noticed a change in our relationship. How could she not notice that I haven’t touched her like I used to or kissed her at all? Was she that involved with Ron to even notice it? It made me mad, and I left our hangouts in rage.
The only thing keeping me together on this trip are the letters that Cho gave me before I left. She gave me a whole bag filled with letters to read when I needed a pick-me-up. She wrote about why she loves having me around and how amazing I am. She always ends the letters with the word “love” and a heart. I’ve been writing letters back to her and will give them to her when I return. She didn’t know why I haven’t broken up with Hermione yet. I would just tell her I didn’t know how to do it.
Cho would look at me with her sweet face and say that I’m too nice for my own good and need to be with someone who appreciates me.
I was taken out of my thoughts when I heard shuffling outside the tent, then the zipper slowly moved down. I sit up and grab my wand in case I need to go into action, but lower it when I see my brown, bushy-haired girlfriend’s head pop into the tent. When I saw her come in, I wasn’t excited to see her, but I wasn’t mad either. I’ve become very indifferent toward us lately.
“Sorry, did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet in case you were asleep,” Hermione fully comes into the tent and closes it. She makes her way over to me, and I roll my eyes when all I smell is Ron on her. The air in the tent becomes thick to the point where I can’t breathe.
“I wasn’t asleep. I’ve been up this whole time. I’ve just been reading,” I say as I shove Cho’s notes into my bag for later.
“Good, we were just going over what we should do tomorrow to find the next horcrux,” Hermione says, changing out of her shirt into a nightshirt. While she is taking off her shirt, I see hickeys all over her stomach. I taste the acid from the bottom of my stomach trying to rise at the sight of it. I turn my head and act like I don’t see it in disgust. Maybe I should break up with her soon. This can’t go on anymore. It is hurting me more than Hermione.
“When you say ‘we,’ do you mean you and Ron?” I ask. I see her body freeze for a second before moving again. There is a pause. She’s probably thinking of an excuse to say, but I step in before she does.
“You guys spend a lot of time together; more than you and I. Isn’t that funny?” I let out a dry laugh.
“I mean, yeah, we do spend a lot of time together, but we’re just best friends. We always have been. Nothing is happening between us if that’s what you’re thinking,” Hermione says quickly while putting on one of my hoodies that I had given to Cho recently. My blood starts to boil because that hoodie was meant to be for Cho, not Hermione. Cho asked me to give her something of mine when I left. I hate seeing it on Hermione; it doesn’t belong to her.
“I didn’t say that, did I? Where did you get that hoodie? I haven’t seen it in a while,” I say calmly, trying to hold back my unexplained anger.
“Yeah, you didn’t…” Hermione hesitates for a second and goes silent for about a minute. “Oh, sorry about that. I think that was my fault. I went to say goodbye to my Ravenclaw friends and saw this on Cho’s bed. Must have left it there one night,” Hermione says, coming closer to me. She lays her head on my shoulder and I stiffen at the act. I think she notices and moves her body so we are face to face with each other.
“Look, I know with everything going on we haven’t been together that much,” Hermione grabs my hands and I let her. “After the war, let’s move somewhere else. Maybe we can go to France and find a little house to live in. We could have a mini library in it. Be able to walk everywhere and eat different food every day,” she lets out a deep sigh as if she didn’t even notice she had been holding it in. Like she didn’t know she was holding the secret of cheating on me.
“Let’s get out of this war first, then we can plan for the future,” I say with no emotion. She smiles and cuddles with me for the rest of the night.
Throughout the horcrux hunt, Hermione spent more time with me than Ron, which was surprising. Maybe she finally realized that I was being pushed away and done with the relationship. Hearing her talk about our future together when she had Ron’s hickeys all over her body and we barely spent time together was my final straw.
Once the war was over, I wrote Hermione a letter.
Hermione,
The beginning of our relationship was like fireworks. Everything was new with you and I was so deeply in love with you. If you had asked me to jump off a cliff, I would have done it without thinking. But it all changed when you started to cheat on me with Ron. Yes, I know about you and Ron. I knew all along. I found out on our four-year anniversary, a day that you couldn’t even remember or celebrate with me. I was heartbroken. At that point, I could have jumped off that cliff. I was in that much pain. Lucky for me, I found a way to feel love again, and I think I am going to chase after it. I realized this after I figured out that you don’t actually love me.
Y/N
Years later…
“Mama, hurry up! I want to get a good seat on the train!” my daughter yells over her shoulder at me. I laugh.
“Relax, sweetie. That’s why we came here early, because Mom has to take her time,” I say, helping my very pregnant wife.
“Cho, baby. How are you feeling? Do we need to slow down? I have your other comfortable shoes in my bag,” I say and go into my bag to get her shoes out, but she stops me.
“No, I’m good. Let’s just get our daughter on the train so you can take me home and massage my feet,” Cho says, turning my face with one hand and kissing me on the lips. I smile, and so does she.
“I love you,” I say softly to Cho so only she can hear it.
“I love you too,” Cho says back.
“Ewww,” our daughter says to us.
“Why are you saying eww? I love your mom and make sure she knows every day,” I say, kissing Cho on the lips again. Cho smiles and blushes at the act.
“I know, and that’s what makes you two so special,” our daughter says, hugging us. We make it to the train and help her on. We wave goodbye to her through the window.
“She’s growing up so fast. Next thing you know, she’ll be going to the Yule Ball. Oh my gosh, I need to start making her a dress!” Cho says, and I laugh out loud.
“We have plenty of time. You don’t need to make her a dress now. You need to rest up so our little boy comes out healthy and strong,” I say, rubbing her stomach.
“Plus, I know she’s going to look beautiful, just like her mom was at the Yule Ball,” I wink at her.
“We weren’t together during year 4, so you always had your mind on me,” Cho says, giving me a side-eye look.
“We weren’t together, and I was dating Hermione, but I knew that… you were very attractive. I didn’t know you were into girls, though, and I ended up dating Hermione,” I say, laughing it off.
“Well, look at us now. Married with one smart girl going into Hogwarts and a baby boy on the way,” Cho says, and I look into her eyes, the woman I love and care for.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see a bushy-brown-haired woman. She hasn’t changed much over the years, just a little more stress in the eyes.
For a brief moment, we make eye contact. In that brief second, I could see in her eyes that she was exhausted and sad. She is standing next to Ron, Harry, Ginny, and their kids. I smile at her, but not because I’m happy to see her. I’m smiling because I was afraid that if I saw her, all of my old feelings for her would come back. None of those feelings did. The only thing I thought about was my family now. Hermione is holding Ron’s hand, then lets it go and walks toward me.
“Hey, baby. Let me go talk to her real quick. I’ll be right back,” I kiss the top of Cho’s head and walk over to Hermione. We meet halfway.
“Wow, you look amazing. You’ve aged very well,” Hermione says with the spark in her eyes that I haven’t seen since we first started dating.
“Thank you. So do you. I haven’t seen you since…” I pause, thinking when the last time I saw her was.
“After the war and when you left the letter,” Hermione finishes my thought.
“Yeah…” I look down at the floor, ashamed that I just left a letter in my younger years.
“I just wanted to say sorry for all of that. I was just dumb for cheating on you with Ron. It was the biggest mistake of my life…” Hermione looks back at Ron, then back at me. “I just shouldn’t have done it. I’ve regretted it every day of my life,” Hermione starts to cry. I knew she meant what she was saying. She really did regret her decision.
“I get it. We were young and in love. I was happy in our relationship,” I say, and I see hope in Hermione’s eyes. “But at the end of the day…” I look back at Cho, then at Hermione, “we got what we wanted. You are with Ron, and I’m incredibly happy with Cho and our little family.” I can see the heartbreak in her eyes, and they are starting to water.
“It was great to see you, Moine. I need to go back to Cho. She could pop at any moment now,” I say, using her old nickname that I used to call her while we were dating.
Finally, closing that chapter of my life and exploring my new life with Cho and our family.
#harry potter#hermione granger x reader#hermione x reader#cho chang#cho chang x reader#hermione fanfiction#hermione granger#hermione granger fanart#ron x hermione
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Bad. (Stepdad!Graves x Reader.)
!stepcest, smut, p in v sex, graves being rough, non con, cheating, unprotected sex, alcohol, proceed with caution you’ve been warned. NO MINORS!
Please go easy this is my first graves fic 😱
Not edited.
It wasn’t a secret that you didn’t particularly like your step dad.
He was a bit of an asshole sometimes and was always gone. Your mom was usually with him, which meant you were always home alone. He pretty much killed your relationship with her. You used to be close with her until he came along. Now, it was different. Your mom was out of town for a few weeks because of your grandmother and left you and him alone.
You left the night before she did and stayed over at a friends house, purposely avoiding a goodbye, and avoiding the awkwardness between the both of you. You knew he’d try to be friendly, he always did.
It’s been a few nights and you finally get a text from him around 11pm. He’s telling you to come home.
You ignore it for a while until you get another text from your mom. To come home. Meaning he’d went and complained to her as well. It was annoying. You’d already been drinking, you knew you shouldn’t have started just yet. Now, you had no choice but to go home inebriated.
You knew you had to listen to them because despite being over 18, it was their house and they made it very clear you had to abide by their rules, so you asked a friend to drop you off.
She pulls into your driveway and she laughs as you fist bump her. “Wish me luck.” You grumble. “With your hot step-dad? Yeah. Good fucking luck.” She shakes her head. “God, you would say that.” You roll your eyes. Hearing her laugh. You close the car door shut and walk toward the door.
You open it up, stepping inside. He’s sitting on the couch but he stands when you come inside. “Pretty late, don’t you think?” He asks. “Yeah, I would’ve stayed longer but you wanted me home.” You sigh, shoving your hands into your pockets after you close the door behind yourself. He laughs. “What’s with the attitude ah? You always got an attitude when you talk to me.” He smiles, looking down. You stay quiet. He moves closer. The scent of liquor hits his nostrils and he shakes his head. “Out drinking?” He sighs. “No wonder you’ve been gone a few days.”
You start to fidget under his gaze. This is probably the most conversation he’s ever made with you.
“What would your mom think?” He asks.
You roll your eyes. “She wouldn’t.” You scoff. Seeing his brows raise in surprise at your tone. “Watch it.” He crosses his arms. “It’s my house too, no more of that. I mean it.”
“You’re not my dad.”
“Yeah but you’re living with me.”
You shake your head. “Yeah, not for long.” You scoff, making a move to walk past him but he grasps your arm, slamming you into the wall behind you. A grin at his lips. “Listen sweetheart. We haven’t got to be alone just yet. You haven’t got to meet me… not really.” He laughs, shaking his head. His eyes flicker to your exposed chest, the v-neck you have on leaving little to the eyes. He runs his tongue along his bottom lip, eyes going back up to your face. You don’t miss it. “Your mom might let you talk to her like that. But you’re not gonna talk to me like that, baby.”
He smirks. “Fuck. You know…” he shakes his head, pressing himself up against you completely, feeling you tense up. “You’re such a bad girl. It’s almost like…” he nibbles at his lip. “Like you’re tryna get a rise out of me, is that right? Hm?” You start to fight against him but he quickly reprimands you. Grasping your wrists and pinning them above your head. “Please- stop. I’m sorry.” You breathe. He inhales your scent behind your ear. Your hair smells like shampoo still. “Shh.. nothing to be ashamed of sweetheart. S’okay. But I’m gonna show you. I’m gonna show you why you should behave for me.”
He freezes up, his teeth bright as he smiles. His smile fades quickly and he spins you around, pressing your front up against the wall. Holding your hands behind your back. He was much stronger than you. Your eyes still take a second to adjust, the buzz still strong. You gasp as he grasps a hold of your jeans, ready to pull them down your legs. “Don’t move a muscle.” He growls.
You tense up and he freezes as a knock on the door distracts him. “Stay there.” He growls. He makes his way to the door, opening it up. “Hey, sorry to bother you. I just dropped Y/N off and she forgot her phone.” You can hear her. Your eyes clench shut. “Oh, thanks. I’ll be sure to give it to her and let her know you stopped by.” He smiles. Closing the door. You stay completely still.
He chews on his bottom lip as he creeps his way back toward you. Arms crossed over his chest. He passes you your phone and the moment it’s in your hand, you’re bolting to your bedroom.
You’re rushing up the stairs, hearing him laugh as he chases after you, catching your ankle and pulling you down. You hit the stairs with a thud, a cry leaving your lips as you claw at the carpet to get away from him. “Oh come. Onnn. I’m not that bad am I?” You kick him back again and scramble to your feet. Rushing into your bedroom and slamming the door shut, locking it as fast as you can. You hear his footsteps getting to the door outside. You step back, hearing him laugh just outside. He looks at the closed door, a smile on his lips. He lowers his head. “Cat and mouse hmm?” He chuckles. “We can play that sweetheart. We can play whatever you want.”
“Leave me alone or I’ll call my mom!” You call from inside your room. Hearing him sigh. “Y/N. Listen sweetheart.” He starts. “This is for your own good. Right? You clearly have some behavioral issues. And I’m a good guy. I’m just trying to show you…” he trails off. “I’m gonna show you how to be good again. All it’s gonna take is a little bit of persuasion.” He sighs. “So just open the door baby.”
You stay completely silent. “I’ve read your little book sweetheart. The one you keep tucked between your box spring and mattress.”
Your eyes widen. “I know what you think of me. And it’s alright.”
“You’re going through my stuff?” You scoff.
“Mm.. well. Your mom told me to change your sheets for you. Happened upon it. I saw everything there. It’s alright. Nothing to be afraid of. Just.. let’s just talk baby. I swear I won’t do anything.”
You swallow hard. Looking down. “You promise?” You mumble.
“I promise. I won’t do anything, let’s just talk. I think we got off on the wrong foot.”
You walk slowly toward the door. Swallowing hard. You reach for the door. Nervous. You turn the lock slowly. Once he’s heard it click, he’s opening the door and you’re backing away from the door. He steps inside and closes it behind himself. You don’t see it, but he locks it.
He’s got jeans and white t-shirt on. He steps closer to you, he towers over you. “You- you promised!” You step back. He raises his hands in surrender. “I did. And I intend to keep it. Just.. sit down yeah?” He nods toward your bed. You sit down on it quickly. “What… what parts did you read?” You stumble over your words. “Oh honey.. I read all of it.” He sits down next to you. His arm brushing over yours. “It’s okay. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.” He rests his hand on your thigh, feeling you tense up. The alcohol is still buzzing in your system, seeming strong now that your blood has pumped so quickly through your veins.
“You were out drinking. That’s not something good girls do. I have to punish you for that.” He looks at you. You shake your head, rolling your eyes. He grips your chin, forcing you to look at him. Hearing you whimper. “You promised!” You try to pull away from him but he grasps hold of you again. “Why’s it so hard for you to be a good girl hm?” He growls. He lifts you up, pushing you down onto your bed, climbing on top of you and straddling your hips as you try to fight him off. He pins your hands above your head. “You’re so weak today.” He taunts. “That’s what they don’t tell you about drinking baby. You’re completely helpless.”
“Let’s see.. what’s a good punishment do you think? Earlier I was going to spank you like a little girl, but now.. now I think I should do something else. Because you ran from me. Back talked me.. locked me out.” He nibbles at his lip. “How about.. I take that virginity of yours.”
Your eyes widen and you start kicking again. You thrash beneath him but he holds you still. “You either cooperate and I’ll go easy or you can keep fighting. You’re not gonna like me when I’m mad.” He growls. You can feel tears pricking your eyes, and you look up at him. Going still. “Please.”
“Why are you crying now? Hm?” He shakes his head. “You wanted this, remember? All those times you rubbed this pretty pussy over the thought of me. It’s all over inside that diary of yours. What happened?” He laughs. Releasing your hands to reach for his belt. “Please.” You whine.
“You hate me so bad but can’t help but gush because of me. Pick one sweetheart.”
He laughs, exposing himself. You reach for his stomach, trying to push him back. He tugs your jeans down your legs and you’re about ready to give up. “Or you can hate me while you cum on my dick.” He grins. “No!” You squeal. Thrashing yourself more and more with every bit of energy you have left. “I mean it sweetheart. You keep thrashing like that n it’s gonna hurt.” He speaks through gritted teeth. “If I gotta force myself into this pussy it’s gonna hurt. So shut the fuck up-“ he wraps a hand around your throat. “And hold still.”
You cry out as he presses up against your entrance. His lips part. “Fuck.. you have such a pretty body.” He breathes. “God you’re gorgeous.” His tip disappears between your folds. He spits on his cock and drags it over your entrance, getting you wet enough to handle him. You watch him close, a hiccup leaving your lips as he sinks into you completely. A cry leaves your lips at the intrusion. You cry out, tears spilling over your eyelids. “Hey.” He sighs. “Listen to me.” He forces you to look up at him. “Just give me a chance.” He breathes. “Your punishment is over now, now it’s time for your reward, for being so good.”
“Your mom sure likes it, maybe you will too.”
Bile grows at the back of your throat and you almost wretch at what he’s just said. Turning away from him.!
“I’m kidding- I’m just kidding.” He laughs. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s been years sweetheart.” He laughs. “She’s made herself comfortable in another man’s bed.” He shakes his head. “I’m here for you.” He adjusts the way he’s resting. Moving up closer to you, pushing himself deeper. You flinch and try to move away from him. “Look at me.” He breathes, forcing you to look at him again. “Just relax.” His voice is soothing. “Relax, give yourself to me. You did so good, barely even flinched when I took your virginity.” He smiles down at you. “Keep looking at me okay?” You nod your head. “That’s it, that’s a good girl. So good.” He breathes. He draws his hips back, rocking back into you. You shiver, eyes filling with tears.
“It’s okay. Nothing to be afraid of. No reason to be upset anymore.” He leans down. Pressing his lips to yours. To his surprise, you kiss him back. “That’s it. That’s my good girl.” He smiles. He keeps a steady pace, allowing you to get used to him.
He gives you a few minutes before he decides to seal the deal.
He adjusts his angle, he knows this like the back of his hand, his favorite thing to do.
He’s never done it to a virgin before.
He angles his hips up, moving perfectly. Cock gliding through your folds. His cock nudges up against that spongy spot and your mouth falls open, crying out. “That’s it.” He laughs. You try to fight away from him, but he holds you still. “I’m so full-“ you hiccup. “It’s okay. I know it’s a lot. It’s your first time.” He breathes. “But just give it a second, it’ll feel so good.”
Your body starts to shake as he works you toward the edge of pure bliss, the fight you had is gone. You can barely keep quiet, but he doesn’t mind. He likes to hear you. “Look at me baby. I want you to memorize who’s making you feel this good.” He smiles, running his tongue over his bottom lip. His eyes look glossy almost. He’s enjoying himself just as much. “I- I’m gonna-“ your eyes screw shut, a mewl leaving your lips as you fall apart beneath him. Body shaking as you let go. “Yes.. that’s a good girl. You did so good. Just a little more.” He groans. He picks up his pace, using you to reach his own high.
He buries his head into the crook of your neck, moaning out as he reaches his own high, your eyes widening when he finishes inside of you.
He rests his body weight on top of you, smothering you almost.
After resting there for a few minutes, he finally pulls away. A gasp leaves yours lips as he pulls out of you.
By now, you’ve sobered up completely and the gravity of the situation you’re in starts to set in. The both of you redress and he sits on the edge of your bed. “I’m sorry I forced myself on you.” He looks at you. You swallow hard, sitting on the edge of your bed, purposely a few inches from him. “It’s… it’s okay.”
“I want you to be a good girl. Keep yourself out of trouble. Can you do that for me?”
You nod your head. “Good.”
“Is.. is what you said true? Is my mom really seeing someone else?” You ask. He nods his head. “Yeah.. that’s where she is now. I’ve known about it for some time but.. I like having you around.” You keep quiet. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. It’s not your fault sweetheart. Cmere.” He pulls you into him, hugging you to his side. “I’m sorry for being so rough with you.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’ll make it up to you. I swear.”
You laugh.
“I forgive you. Just.. go easy on me next time.”
“Next time?” He smiles.
You look down, blush rising to your cheeks.
“Don’t go being a bad girl, you know what happens.” He forces you to look at him.
“Yes sir.” You look him in the eyes. He presses his lips to yours.
Maybe your step-dad wasn’t so bad after all.
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Too Sweet (18+)
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Preview: You and Jessie don’t belong together, but you find yourself addicted to her. (loosely based off Hozier’s Too Sweet, doesn’t really follow the lyrics)
Warnings: it’s pretty angsty, smut without being explicit smut, but definitely 18+, mentions of alcohol, some pretty heavy self deprecation
WC: 2.3k
A/N: I was in an angsty mood, my apologies
You rolled over to the side of the bed, moving yourself from your position on top of Jessie. You both laid panting with red cheeks, sweat covering both of your naked bodies.
You knew this was wrong, you and Jessie shouldn’t be spending your nights together in bed. You shouldn’t be whispering praises and muttering her name into her ear as she lay beneath you. She shouldn’t be wrapping her strong legs around your head, hands tangled in your hair. You were bad for her, you both knew it but neither of you dared to admit it. She was sweet, gentle, and genuine. You were, for lack of a better term, an asshole.
You don't know how you ended up being her hookup of choice. The first time it happened you were both drunk so you wrote it off initially as a mistake on her part. In celebration after a big win you had both gone out with the team and had more than your share of drinks. But then you found yourself above her naked figure again and again. You and Jessie never got along. You were polar opposite. She was small, kind, she wouldn’t hurt a fly. You were lucky if you came away from a game without a yellow card, you were a tall, tattooed, muscled defender, you didn’t care for other people, often called selfish or egotistical.
The two of you had a teasing relationship. You knew how to push each other, you were one of the only people that Jessie would be upfront and confrontational with. You pushed her nerves in the worst ways.
Weeks ago, the night of your first time, you had watched as Jessie was talking with an unknown girl across the bar the team was celebrating at. For some reason watching her talk with the girl made a bubble of rage fill your chest. They chatted briefly, before the girl walked away and Jessie was left alone. Feeling like more of a dick than normal with the added rage you find yourself walking over to where Jessie stood.
“What do you want?” She scoffed at you as you walked over. She knew you were coming to push her buttons. You wouldn’t have come over to have a nice conversation, she knew that.
“You going home with that pretty little thing?” You point over in the direction of the girl Jessie was previously talking to.
“No, I’m not.”
“Of course you’re not, I was joking.” You had already known she wasn’t, Jessie wasn’t the type to take home a random girl from the bar. She rarely would go on dates, at least that you knew off. She wasn’t one to get around, unlike you. As long as she said yes, you’d practically take any girl back to your bed.
“What does that mean?” You’re not sure why she asked, she knew the reputation she had for being more reserved than the rest of the team when it came to sex.
“You’re little miss innocent, you’re probably waiting until marriage aren’t you?” You knew full and well that she most likely wasn’t as innocent as she gave off but it was so easy to push her.
“Why are you such an asshole?”
“Ooo, hit a sore subject didn’t I virgin?” You send her a smirk, feeling proud of yourself. It was a low blow and you knew it was. You normally didn’t take stabs at her sex life or romantic life, you really couldn’t care less if she was a virgin, that’s her choice, but the drinks already in your system decided that’s how you were going to annoy her tonight.
“I’m not a virgin.”
“Whatever you say. Maybe I’ll take your girl home and show her a good time.” You take a sip from your glass of straight whiskey . You start to turn away, deciding you should leave the poor girl alone and starting to look for someone to take home.
“She’s not my girl and I’m not innocent.” Her words have you turning back toward her. You can notice Jessie’s grip tightening on her glass that is filled with something you presume would be too sweet for your taste. It makes you want to laugh, how easily she was frustrated by you.
“Okay, whatever you say, but I’d rock your little innocent world Fleming.” You pat your hand on the top of her head, adding to your degrading comment.
“Do it then, rock my world.” She turns to face you. You weren’t expecting that, for once she was pushing back at you, standing up for herself. It was fucking hot.
That’s all it took, you grabbed her hand, throwing cash at the bar, more than enough to cover both of your tabs and pulled her out of the bar and into an Uber.
She followed you all the way into your bed where the two of you spent the night. Jessie surprised you that night, definitely showing she was the opposite of innocent. You also proved to her that you could in fact, rock her world. You had her writhing under you, moaning your name and making a mess of herself in your sheets. But as much as you rocked her world, she rocked yours.
Something about her whispering dirty things to you, touching every inch of your skin, all while she kept the innocent, blushed cheeks, blown pupils with a small ring of her usual brown eye look, made you want to ruin her. Seeing her in ways you know many people haven’t gotten to, made you tingle. It was intoxicating, the mix of innocence and sinful that she was able to portray.
Since that night, you were addicted to her.
You both couldn’t seem to stop falling into bed with each other. Sometimes you didn’t even make it to the bed, it happened in the kitchen, on the couch, in the car, against the wall, it was happening every day.
But like clockwork, you’d leave or kick her out, shortly after you were both done. You’d both go back to your usual hatred of each other, ignoring each other at training, making smartass comments to her, picking on her. Only to end up in her bed, on top, behind, to the side, or under her, as you watch in awe of her every move.
It was becoming a habit, one you knew you had to break. You started to see Jessie’s behavior change. You had quickly mentioned to her that the sex was no strings attached, a way for you to both get your frustrations out at both each other and at the world. She had agreed to those terms but it was becoming clear, she was no longer no strings attached.
She started to follow you around more, coming up to you at training, giving you a wave when you’d walk into a room, she was less crass with her comments. Your teammates started to notice, asking if you were suddenly friends again, asking when you stopped hating each other. She’d offer you dinner or lunch or breakfast depending on what hour of the day you two were in her bed. It was becoming too much. It felt like it was moving toward a relationship, toward commitment. You knew it had to be the end.
That’s what made this time different. When you rolled off of her and onto her soft pillow, you didn’t have the energy to get up. You stayed laying next to her. So badly you wanted to roll toward her, put your arms around her and stay. But that’s not who you were, you never had been, you didn’t know how to be that type of person. You knew you had to go, everything in your brain was screaming at you to get up. You weren’t good enough for her, you never would be good enough for anyone. You couldn’t stay here with her. Staying would give her the wrong idea.
“You could stay, you don’t have to go.” It was as if she could read your mind, the debate between your self hatred and the small sliver of hope you had for yourself one day.
“No, I do.” You push yourself off her pillow and sit up on the side of the bed. You look around trying to find where your clothes ended up.
“Not if you don’t want to.” You can feel her eyes burning into the back of your head as you stay facing away.
“I can’t Jessie, I need to leave.” Standing up and moving over you find your discarded boxers, throwing them on before finding your shorts. “We both know we can’t do this. This is just sex. I’m not good for you.”
“You could be good for me, we could do this.” Turning around you saw her. She looked like an angel. Her hair slightly messy, a smile across her face, the bed sheet wrapped tightly around her waist. You could see the dark marks you had made on her chest peeking out from the top of the sheet. She was looking at you with a hopeful glint in her eyes. A hopeful glint you were about to kill.
“No, Jessie. I’m not good for you, I’m not good for anyone. I’m an asshole. I’m not respectful, I’m not responsible, I’m not nice. You’re Canada’s baby. I’m basically every team’s enemy. I can’t stay, I can’t lead you on, thinking this could work. It won’t work, we can’t be anything, that's something I can’t give you. I can’t give you what you deserve. You’re too sweet, you deserve the world, and I don’t have it to give you.” You definitely say a lot more than you planned to. You spew all the things that would make the two of you being together impossible. With every word that comes out of her mouth, some of the light in her eyes diminishes. You were killing her hope, just like you had planned and just like you wanted to.
“How do you know, how do you know there’s no chance for this to work?”
“Look as much as I maybe act like I hate you, I really don’t. I just can’t get too close. I know myself, I can’t let myself hurt you. And I would, Jessie. Despite what your optimistic Canadian little brain may tell you, I would end up hurting you.” You walk out of the bedroom and make your way toward her front door prepared to leave her apartment for the last time. You hear a scramble and Jessie follows behind you.
As you look at her you see every reason you can’t be together. She was someone you took home to meet your parents, you were not. You had never had a stable relationship, you did flings, you ghosted girls after spending the night with them, you blocked numbers and unfollowed girls. You had always done it, you didn’t know any other way.
She shouldn’t have to fix you.
“I think we shouldn’t do this anymore.” You say as you place your hand to the door, Jessie standing behind in just a shirt and underwear.
“Why?”
“We just shouldn’t, I don’t want to hurt you. This is becoming more than sex to you.”
You feel her place her hands on your shoulders, pulling you back. You turn to face her, having to look down at her small figure as she pushed her chest to yours.
“Just one more time then?” Her eyes begging, it was moments like this that made your brain short circuit. Here she was, big brown puppy eyes, the innocent look, all while asking for you to fuck her, one last time. Her fingers come up to trace patterns on your chest. She knew your weaknesses and she used it to her advantage.
You grab her chin, placing your lips on hers before moving your hands to the back of her thighs, picking her up and walking back into her bedroom.
“Last time.” You say as you place her on the bed and begin to remove her shirt for the second time that afternoon as she frantically nods at you. You took your time, trying to commit every aspect of her to memory, her taste, the way her skin felt against yours, the way her hands moved, the sounds she made.
“Just stay for 5 minutes.” Those were the first words out of Jessie’s mouth after a long string of moans and profanities as you had made her cum for the second time that round and fourth time today. She moved off of where she was laid on top of you, keeping one arm and leg draped over you.
“Just 5 minutes.”
Those 5 minutes quickly became an unknown amount of time as you woke up, disoriented, too hot, with a weight across your chest. The weight you quickly realized was Jessie’s arm draped across your middle, the same way it had been when she asked you to stay for 5 minutes.
Giving her one last look, she was peaceful, fast asleep, you gently move her arm off of you, sliding out from under her touch and out of bed. You quietly find your clothes, get dressed and move to the front door. You look back to her bedroom door for a second, hand on the exit to her apartment. Her bed had felt safe, warm, relaxing, you had been able to fall asleep with her, but you had to go, you told yourself. So you did. Before you made it through the door into the hallway you opened your phone, blocked her number and made your way down the stairs and out onto the street. You’d have to see her next week at training but at least you could avoid her for now.
When you opened your own apartment door, you felt your world collapse. A tightness deep in your chest consumed you. You let your back hit the door, sliding down it until you were sitting on the floor, against the door knees tucked to your chest. Hot tears ran down your cheeks.
You would never be able to have someone like Jessie. You didn’t deserve someone like Jessie. You’d likely end up alone, once you get through sleeping with as many girls as you can manage. She’d end up with a picket white fence, a wife, and a couple of kids. You were not a good person, she was. She deserved a happy ending, you didn’t.
You were bitter and she was too sweet.
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{Demonic Companion} Something's wrong with your lover + Angst moments over love
First spin-off! This request can be found in {Demonic Companion _ Part 2}
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@writer-girl993d
Maybe after reader gets a lover, they’re ranting about the lover to Alastor and realizes something’s wrong. Or before lover boy gets involved and we get the angst over what Alastor “likes” Mimzy over? I have more ideas but I don’t want to flood the comments with them but let me know if you want more?
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**For the sake of it, I’ll just call the lover as ‘L’ cause I don’t know if you prefer female or male lovers.
What if you realize there’s something wrong with your relationship with L while ranting to Alastor?
The likelihood of you realizing something wrong is slim, but with more obvious hints, you’ll notice. Especially since you’re comparing L with Alastor to prove to yourself that it was a ‘good’ or ‘safe’ choice as you do love Alastor still but gave up since he has crush on a demon that you don’t think you can compare with
To realize something wrong would be something along the lines of L having red flag, being abusive or manipulative or anything like that. How you realize is thanks to Alastor. Before you and the Overlord were all buddy-buddy, he did try to rope you into signing a contract with him and it was your persistence that got him to give up (hence why Alastor wanted you romantically now)
But because Alastor changed for you, you think the same would happen with L. Now a cruical element in that change is whether L is geuninently in love with you. If not, you can bet that you will break things off since you can tell fake from true. If so, you’d be more patient. It wasn’t like Alastor also changed by the next visit
Overall, you’re seeing Alastor in L, that was why L was your crush and lover to begin with. L was your reminder of what would be a happy end for you two if Alastor didn’t express his distance to you and his crush to Mimzy
You would have fought back and tried to win Alastor’s heart, but you weren’t the type of person to selfishly want your own happiness to sacrifice others’. Why did you think your childhood friends didn’t listen to you when they were doing that demon summoning?
Angst Moments Over What Alastor ‘Likes’ About Mimzy
*Fair warning, this would be set before you express your crush and still pursuing Alastor’s heart but he’s in denial and pushing you away strongly. Alastor firmly drawing the line that you two were merely friends and you should be grateful that he didn’t do anything bad to you
“Oh, the gal should can dance! Back in the days, you should have seen her, she can dance throughout the night and until the sun comes up! Ha! No one but I can keep up with her. There were rumours going around that we were an item. Oh, how I wish it so.” Alastor sighed as he played with his cane childishly while his eyes looked so distant
You shouldn’t have asked, you shouldn’t have been curious. They say ignorant is bliss, but now that you know. You can’t forget it. You scrolled on your phone, hugging your soft toy tighter. You could hear your heart shattering with every praise and admiration that rolled off his tongue, you wanted to put in your earplug or tell Alastor off so you could bury your head in your pillow and sob the night away
You can’t help but be smitten with the charming demon, not that he was powerful and handsome and well, charming. But he had been the only one in your life that stayed by your side. Whether it was being brutally honest or poking fun at you to make you stronger. It was always him and he didn’t leave you
Giving him your soul wasn’t the answer because then your life would be cut short and you want your freedom and pride still. As much as you know that was what Alastor want from you
You tried taking dancing lessons, train your public speaking, work part-time at a cafe, all those things Alastor told you about Mimzy. It was out of your comfort zone, but if it gets Alastor to see you as something more than a potential contracted soul or a friend, it was worth it
But you got the worst wake up call
“My dear, are you trying to be like Mimzy?” Alastor’s words taunted you, making you brush in embarrassment for being found out. His condescending laughter didn’t comfort you. “You mortal soul, can never be like Mimzy, you’d never be on your level! No matter how hard you’d try, you can never be like the one I love and care for. So, do give up and save yourself the money, energy, and time spent on these wasteful efforts of yours.”
It was a wonder you didn’t break down on the spot and cry
Unlike Mimzy, you weren’t successful, nor can you dance like crazy. You didn’t know Alastor from his time period, you didn’t bond with him as much. You didn’t know Alastor as much as Mimzy, you’d still fear his demonic form whereas Mimzy cheers him on. You’re not Mimzy. Alastor likes Mimzy
Right, you wake up from then on. Alastor doesn’t love you like he would to Mimzy. You were merely an entertainment on Earth that he graciously gives his time and energy to. How many can say that a demon stayed by their side and not torment them for the rest of their mortal life? You might be the only one
So you smiled, your eyes closed and your lips curved into the widest smile you can manage. You didn’t catch the way Alastor freeze and his smile faltering when you spoke those words that changed everything from then on, “Right, sorry. I thought I could learn a thing or two from Mimzy since you hold her in such high regard. I was silly. Can you please give me some time to think things through? Maybe a week or so. I’ll be back to normal by then.”
Alastor shouldn’t have agreed. He shouldn’t have ignored and brush off the way you were so stiff and in such disbelief of his words. He was harsh, he saw that now. He shouldn’t have given you space. But what was he to do? He didn’t even know why he said and did what he did
The next time Alastor returned to your side, you have already been directing your attention to a crush of yours from school and your intimate care to him was all missing its warmth
Note: The second spin-off for this series is coming soon~ It's a bit of a sample to let you see what the requests would be written as. Obviously it's going to be as long as your and my ideas combined, but not long enough to be a one-shot
Circe Y.
#alastor imagine#alastor x reader#alastor x y/n#alastor x you#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor headcanons#hazbin hotel fanfiction#alastor#hazbin hotel oneshots#Demonic Companion#Circe's requested writings#Circe's Nighty Writings
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Never Look Down
Part 2: Maia’s (Your) Morning
← Part 1 | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Prompt: “I don’t know what’s happening but I love it.”
Summary: Din has been ignoring his crush on Grogu’s babysitter for a while now, with varying degrees of success. But after a misunderstanding leads to some revelations, there’s no denying things any longer. Sometimes you just need to look at things from a different perspective.
Rating: Mature (18+)
Pairing: Din Djarin x Original Female Character (for his POV scenes) / Din Djarin x Reader (for her POV scenes)
Word count: 7,830
Tags/warnings: POV switch, hangover hell, light angst, confessions, even more references to erections, some swearing, references to sex, kissing, reference to fellatio, a lot of fluff, Reader has a name (and a job and an inkling of a backstory). Regarding her prior bad relationship, I don’t want anyone to be triggered by an assumption, so please note she was NOT in an abusive situation. Her former partner was just a drug-dealing douche.
Author’s note: I finished something new! [*cries in disbelief*] 😭. Thank you so much for your interest and support! 💖
READ ON AO3 (author’s preference)
Tumblr version ahead if you prefer…
You wake up somewhere dark and soft. It takes you several seconds to realise where you are due to the throbbing ache in your head that’s screaming for focus.
You’re in Din’s bed.
Oh fuck.
Well… more like no fuck. A shameful absence thereof.
Slowly, memories of the previous night drift to the surface of your foggy brain, each one deepening your embarrassment until you’ve reached the pitiful depths of utter humiliation. It cuts deeper than your hangover, which includes a pounding headache and a bruised shoulder (how did that happen?), yet is almost trivial in comparison. Kark, you drank – and said and did – a lot more than you should’ve.
Babysitting Grogu is not your primary source of income. In fact, you have a contract with Karga for city planning and infrastructure upgrades. But that’s just building holos, presenting them to the High Magistrate, and then outsourcing the work upon approval. It’s sporadic and flexible, leaving you with plenty of hours to kill. You took this part-time job to keep yourself busy, but you’ve come to enjoy hanging out with the little guy and his bafflingly sexy father. Both are good fun, have always been friendly and welcoming, and you’re fond of their company. Who are you kidding – you’re profoundly attached to them both. Plus, Din has taught you to use a blaster, helping you feel safer and more self-reliant now you’re free of your ex’s ‘protection’. The extra credits are merely a bonus, and you’d do this for free if it came to it.
Well, not this. Not turn up drunk, pass out in your boss’s refresher, then misread a gesture of kindness as a sexual advance. And you just had to fucking let your thoughts spill out, didn’t you? Shit, you basically told him you think he’s a virgin! Sure, you’ve wondered, but you’ve never drawn any conclusions, so why did you have to vocalise those thoughts as if you had? You’ve been so careful to avoid suggesting his commitment to his creed might be impeding anything fun. So what if he can’t eat with you or sleep with you – that’s his choice. He probably thinks you’re judging him now. You shouldn’t have opened your mouth, damn it!
Of course he rejected you.
How could you ever have thought Din would want to be with you after everything you did last night? There are so many reasons for him to have walked away like he did. Not only did you fail to provide trustworthy childcare, but you also vomited in his toilet and were a drunken burden on him after he’d had to go out on a job. Then you assumed he wanted sex, implied he might not have the requisite skills, stripped naked, climbed under his sheets, and stole his fucking bed for the whole night.
You’re a disgrace. The regret burns in your chest, branding you from the inside out as the fool who pushed a former bounty hunter too far.
Plus, you work for the guy, so that’s surely a factor. Your role here is simply to take care of his kid. At least it was. And, of course, he’s never shown any interest in you. In fact, whenever you’ve wondered if the two of you are having ‘a moment’, he’s always run away.
Why did you have to make an already bad situation so much worse by revealing your desires? You were coping fine with your self-imposed celibacy. Sure, it was frustrating, but you were surviving. Repressing your libido around him was working for you.
As much as you want to hide beneath the blankets and avoid the fallout, you know you can’t stay in Din’s bed forever. Even though it’s soft and warm and smells like him – fresh yet with a hint of spicy musk. You really can’t.
Fumbling to activate the lamp, you drain the water on the nightstand, noting your clothes strewn across the floor. Thankfully, they don’t smell of alcohol or vomit (at least you’re a tidy drunk), so you get dressed and stumble to the refresher. More memories return at that crime scene, adding to your shame spiral and giving you a likely reason for your bruised shoulder.
Din has left his ultrasound cleaner out of the cabinet, which has to be a suggestion that you use it, and you can take a hint. You recall complaining that your mouth tasted like bantha balls, and accepting his pity is the lesser evil. Though it’s far more than you deserve, it’s also far better than this flavour.
You gladly let the vibrations clean your mouth and then rinse away the residue, feeling much better for it. It’s not enough to ease your thumping headache, but it’s a start.
You can’t hear any noise from upstairs or across the hall, so you wonder if your hosts are still asleep. It’s clearly past dawn since daylight is spilling down the staircase, but it could still be early. Maybe you can just slip out unnoticed? You debate checking on Grogu first. Din probably slept on the couch, though there’s a cushioned chair in the kid’s room that he could’ve used.
Guilt and concern make you check on your charge despite the risk of waking a metal sentinel. But you’re surprised to discover an empty room. That means they’re either both upstairs and being quiet, or they’ve gone out. You’re hoping for the latter. Zandi insisted you meet her for lunch, but part of you wants to run straight to your friend’s place and cry about what an idiot you’ve been. Hmm, no. You should go home for a shower first. Not that it could wash off the disgrace, but it might ease your aching head, at least.
You dart across the hall for your shoes, straightening out your boss’s sheets before you leave (a token apology, if anything). Catching sight of a comb on top of his dresser sends another type of guilt burning through you. Stealing his bed was already an invasion of privacy, but learning about what he hides beneath the beskar feels worse. You anxiously smooth down the blankets, flick off the lamp, and tiptoe up the stairs.
Thankfully, you find an empty living space, lit by sunshine so bright that you realise it’s already mid-morning. Din must have taken Grogu to school.
There’s no sign of your glowrod, but you don’t care. He can keep it. You shove on your boots with as much haste as you can manage and fly to the exit, darting through. Kriff, it’s so blinding outside that you have to turn your back to the sun or risk your hangover increasing tenfold.
Just as you’re gulping lungfuls of fresh air and keying in the lock code to secure the cabin, you hear him.
“Feeling better?”
The Mandalorian steps out from behind the cabin, and you wonder if he’s been waiting to ambush you. Damn it, you should’ve known. Bounty hunter.
You can’t look him in the eyes. Well, the visor, really. Either way, you fix your gaze on the porch. You’d normally come out with something playful and witty, but today, your brain gives you nothing except wry honesty.
“The hangover and torturous headache are nothing compared to my embarrassment,” you answer sheepishly. “I am so sorry about last night.”
You don’t specify which part because you mean all of it. Drinking to excess and throwing up in his home, as well as climbing into his bed, stripping off, and assuming he would fuck you, then commenting on how you thought he couldn’t fuck you. You’re sure you’ll never live down this shame.
Din doesn’t respond to your apology, but he steps forward, a wall of beskar and muscle blocking you from leaving the porch. He leans past you – so close he almost traps you against the door – and reverses the lock code you just entered.
When the door behind you swishes open again, he gestures inside with a nod. “We gotta talk.”
Oh, frotz, this is bad. This is so so so bad. He’s normally relaxed and happy around you, welcoming (or at least tolerating) your friendly jokes and nicknames. But right now, he’s all stiffness and silence, thumbs in his belt and elbows out wide, staring you down as if you were prey. He is not happy with you. You’ve fucked up bad.
You’re going to lose your job. It’s not a substantial source of income, but you’ll lose your bonding time with the kid and the friendly teasing thing you’ve developed with his dad. You won’t get to watch how strong and beautiful this warrior-turned-father is anymore, how soft he is with Grogu, despite his hard beskar shell. There’ll be no more shooting lessons. He’s going to tell you how offensive your remarks were last night… kark, what if he has a duty to punish anyone who disrespects his creed? Is it disrespectful to suggest he can’t have sex, though? Maybe the offensive thing was you throwing yourself at him. Or perhaps he thinks you’re hideous and finds the idea of having sex with you offensive. Whatever the case, he’s going to—
“Maia….”
Hearing your name growled through his modulator snaps you out of your spiralling thoughts, and you realise you’re just standing there gawking at him in the doorway.
Suddenly, you feel meek in his presence, which has never happened before. Even when you first met, he was careful to make you feel safe and welcome. This menacing demeanour is new.
“Please,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “Can I just go home?”
Din looms closer like a rancor threatening its prey. “This won’t take long,” he insists.
With widened eyes, you shrink back toward the scene of your crimes, your near freedom now a fool’s delusion. He walks forward as you step backward across the cabin’s threshold, maintaining the proximity – a fateful dance that promises a morning even more tragic than the night before.
“Sit,” he commands, gesturing to the couch. He watches you perch yourself where you’re told to and then nods, appeased by your obedience.
A heavy silence clouds the room as your soon-to-be-ex boss flicks on the caf maker and heats the beverage while you quietly unravel on the couch. You’re not even sure what this is. It feels like he’s about to punish you (and not in a good way), but you have no idea how. Is he going to yell at you? Torture you with some kind of ritualistic Mandalorian justice? Or is he just going to describe how disappointed he is, fire you from this job, and threaten to roast you with his flamethrowers if he catches you anywhere near Grogu?
Whatever’s about to happen, you’re zealously ignoring the part of you that’s low-key turned on by how dominant he’s acting this morning. You can’t examine that right now.
After a minute or two, Din brings a cup to the couch and perches beside you, performing an awkward shuffle as he angles his body toward you. Still unsure how to act, you remain facing straight ahead, watching him in your peripheral.
He’s fully armoured this morning, his movements determined but stiff, and you recall how fluidly his body moved when he was just down to his flight suit. When he swept you into his arms, cradled you against his chest, and carried you to his bed…
No! Bad thoughts! Now is not the time for those because you’re about to receive the worst reprimand of your life (and you work for Karga!).
But your brain won’t stop replaying the memory, leading you to a distracting notion. He keeps his armour on the shelves in his bedroom – you saw it there last night. That means he must have come in to grab it this morning while you were sleeping. Damn, he’s stealthy! Though, to be fair, you were utterly passed out.
Wait. You woke up fully covered and tucked in. You don’t recall falling asleep, but you do remember arranging the blanket for optimum cleavage display. Kark, you really hope you snuggled down properly in your sleep. Because if not, there’s a chance that he opened his door to an inadvertent boob extravaganza, and he covered you up for the sake of your dignity. Fuck! How much shame can you suffer in a single morning?
He still hasn’t started talking, so before your thoughts ricochet in yet another distressing direction, you prompt, “You, uh, said we need to talk?” It’s probably best to confront your impending doom so you can run home and scream into a pillow.
Din huffs a little. “We do. Doesn’t mean I know how to start.”
Hmm, well, he doesn’t seem too angry, at least. Perhaps there won’t be any Mandalorian torture-based vengeance after all.
You don’t have the energy to play ‘guess the punishment’, but maybe you can stave it off if you beg for mercy. “Okay, then let me start. I said and did some monumentally stupid things last night, and I understand if you can’t forgive me and never want to see me again. But I just need you to know how truly sorry I am and that I really didn’t mean to offend you, and if I could—”
“Stop apologising,” he interrupts, shaking his helmet.
His order startles you into silence. It was insistent, but he didn’t sound angry at all. In fact, there was an undertone of something else. Almost the amused side of frustrated. What the kriff is happening?
Din sighs and tilts his visor toward his lap, then seems surprised to realise he’s still clutching the caf he made but clearly can’t drink in your presence. He silently offers you the steaming cup, and after a beat, you accept it, staring at it just as he did.
Never has a cup of caf received as much scrutiny as when two parties are unsure how to vocalise their thoughts.
“I made it for you,” he offers. “Thought… with the hangover….”
“Thanks,” you mumble, unsure what else to do or say. This isn’t going as expected at all, and your confusion is only growing. Is he doing some kind of bounty hunter ‘killing with kindness’ act?
This is absurd. You just need to get him talking, accept your punishment, and then you can escape.
“Um,” you begin, and his shadowed visor fixes on you again, unsettling you further. “If… if you don’t want to hear my apologies… what do you want to talk about?”
Your reluctant host forces out his response like it’s stuck inside his throat. “I want… I wanna ask you… some things. And I need you to answer honestly.”
Your stomach churns with nerves. He has questions? He must want you to explain what you said. He’s going to make you relive it – not by telling you how offensive you were, but by making you deconstruct your own comments and actions.
Kark. It’s a punishment, alright.
But if the penalty for your folly is the discomfort of explaining yourself, you can deal with that. This is a man you’re used to teasing, and he sounds just as unsure about what to say here as you are. So, you need to gather your confidence and endure whatever awkwardness this brings up.
You square your shoulders and lift your chin. “Okay… ask me.”
“You’ll answer? Honestly?” There’s an edge of desperation in Din’s voice from which you intuit his real meaning. You need to check any joking at the door.
Well, your current embarrassment level is sky-high, so whatever he wants you to respond to or admit surely can’t be much worse. You’ve already laid yourself (literally) bare for him. “I will. You got a slice of my inner dialogue last night, so I might as well continue the honesty.”
“Good… thank you.” He releases a profound sigh, a rush of static through the vocoder, and appears to gather himself for his first question. “Why do you think my creed means I can’t…?” He trails off, but you follow his meaning and match his heavy sigh.
“I don’t really think that,” you assure him. “Honestly, I’ve never known what to think, which means I’ve made no assumptions either way. But I guess… my drunken brain felt it was… safer to err on the side of caution when addressing it out loud.”
You’re not in the least bit surprised that he’s starting with this. If he is a virgin, you’ve mocked him, and if he isn’t, you’ve no doubt hurt his pride.
When he doesn’t respond, you suggest, “If that’s your first question, it sounds like you’re worried I’m judging you, so let me reinforce what I just said. ‘No assumptions’ means ‘no judgments’. But if you want to clarify things, I can promise you that whatever the truth is, I still won’t judge you.”
The importance Din is giving this topic is by far the biggest clue to the likely truth. No virgin would question you in the way that he just did. If they mentioned it at all, they’d probably just insist it’s not a topic for you to concern yourself with and never speak of it again. But inviting him to confirm his expertise gives him an easy way to lay the matter to rest. It’s also the kindest thing to do in the wake of your drunken foolishness.
He nods a fraction, accepting the premise, pausing while he chooses his words. “My creed doesn’t impose any rules relating to that, only that I cannot remove my helmet. And… some people kind of, uh… they get off on the mystery. So I do pretty well when I need to… blow off some steam.”
Huh. That was surprisingly direct (for him). You can’t help but smile, wondering if your delight stems from finally having proof that he isn’t without experience or that this discussion (so far) isn’t about how badly you fucked up.
Hoping to conceal your thoughts and keep the focus on him, you instantly slide back into teasing mode with a new nickname and a vague compliment of sorts. “Super Stud! You’re very discreet.”
“That’s the idea,” he confirms, ignoring his new moniker. “Although it’s by no means frequent, and since I got Grogu, I haven’t had….” He clears his throat. “Time and opportunity are rare.”
As much as you wish Din would choose to ‘blow off some steam’ with you, all you hear is a chance to atone for last night’s thoughtless actions. “I can take care of him while you go have some fun…?”
A massive scoff comes through the vocoder, and he shakes his helmet widely. “No, Maia, that’s… that’s not gonna work.”
But you persist, desperate to make amends. “Oh, come on, Metal Man, you deserve a break. Isn’t there anyone on Nevarro you can call for some fun?”
He sighs. “I have… options, yes.”
You furrow your brow at that. “So why did you say time and opportunity are rare? If you’ve got options, why don’t you just get your shiny ass laid while I do what you pay me for and take care of—”
A distinctly peeved huff crackles through the modulator, and you instantly fall silent. You forgot you’re not supposed to be teasing. Nor is it clear yet whether you still have a job. Foot, meet mouth.
He curtly redirects you. “Next question.” You assent with a nod, but when he continues, his tone is suddenly guarded and awkward. “Last night, you said… you suggested… that you and I might… blow off some steam.”
Fuck, this is the part you were dreading, and your pulse picks up. He seems nervous. Is that good or bad? Well, it’s better than angry and scary. You try to freeze your movements to avoid either wincing or looking too eager, nervously awaiting his question.
“Was that… because of the alcohol? Or… something, uh… real?” All you detect in his voice is discomfort, so you can’t tell which option he hopes for.
You sigh and take a careful slurp of the scalding hot caf to buy yourself time. It’s hard to answer because there’s a lot at risk. If you’re too honest about your feelings and Din doesn’t feel the same way, your relationship might end – professional as well as personal.
But once again, the fact that he’s asking suggests your answer is important to him, so the odds are likely in your favour. If he wasn’t attracted to you, surely he’d play it down and give you a way to save face. Just say he knew your silly drunken advances were simply an extension of your usual urge to tease and meant nothing, and that he forgives you for them. Surely he wouldn’t ask if they were ‘real’.
The concept sparks a tiny flame of hope in a dark and dusty corner of your mind, a pinprick of light to chase away the fears you walked in here with.
However, you can’t be too hasty or draw conclusions without facts. Though this isn’t going as dreadfully as you feared it might, the sensible option is to avoid getting your hopes up. He asked you for honesty, so you’ll give him that, but you decide to err on the side of caution again. An assumption against any interest on his part shouldn’t be offensive.
“It wasn’t… totally the alcohol,” you confess cautiously, and you see his body instantly tense up. Is that a positive reaction? “I’ve been trying to remember exactly what I said to you. I told you it was a ‘dream’, right?” Din nods once. “Well… that’s true. I admit I’ve had some daydreams about the idea. But it felt… safer not to mention it. Last night, you made it clear you weren’t interested in me, and you’ve never given me any reason to think otherwise, so I—”
“I did no such thing.”
Shit. The anger you were afraid of is finally colouring the Mandalorian’s tone, and he leans forward with his vehement denial.
What did you say wrong? Did you tease too soon with the new nickname just now? Shock and confusion contort themselves across your face, and you shrink backward.
He almost growls at your retreat, and the creak of his leather gloves as he clenches his fists has you bracing yourself for trouble. You honestly can’t tell if you’re turned on or terrified.
Before you can decide, he declares, “Last night, I had to walk away from a beautiful naked woman in my bed because she’d been drinking, and I would never do anything without full consent. I did not make it clear I wasn’t interested in you. Fuck, Maia, I have dreams about you too. All the time.”
Your mouth hangs open in surprise. Even knowing it was vaguely possible, you weren’t ready for that response.
He has dreams about you too!
Now that he’s confessed what got him so worked up, you see him make a visible effort to calm down.
His next words are much softer, soothing your prior unease, though your heart continues to thump from his admission. “Time and opportunity are rare because you’re Grogu’s babysitter, and that kid loves you. When he’s not with me, he wants to be with you. He only goes to school twice a week. That’s not a lot of time or—”
“—or opportunity,” you finish. “Okay, I get it. Why didn’t you say anything before? We could’ve been blowing off steam on schooldays for months already, but I had no idea. I would’ve climbed naked into your bed way sooner if I’d known.”
Din groans, a low and sinful rumble, and you wonder if you shouldn’t have put those images in his mind.
A deep breath later, he answers, “My son is my priority; his needs come before mine. He needs a good babysitter more than I need a good… uh….” He trails off and clears his throat. “And last night was the first time you’d ever said anything. I had no idea either.”
“But, but…” you stammer. Okay, so you’ve been keeping it to yourself, but you’re surprised he didn’t pick up on your attraction at all. “I’m flirting and checking you out all the crinking time, Metal Man. I thought bounty hunters were observant?”
He hums as if he’s flattered by your admission. “Teasing me is not a sign of anything on its own. And I’ve never seen you look anywhere other than directly at my helmet. You would’ve noticed my interest otherwise.” You furrow your brow slightly, not following, and he shakes his head in frustration. “You never look down.”
You look down.
Holy mother of meteors…
That is one obscenely snug flight suit and one fucking impressive erection.
Granted, you’ve noticed he’s been wearing the loose flight suit pants more often. In fact, you’ve missed being able to check out his toned ass in the closer-fitting ones. But since you can’t see where he’s looking, you’ve always been careful to keep your roving eyes chaste whenever he’s facing you. And, kriff, you never figured the reason for his wardrobe change was to hide this glorious attribute.
“Wow,” you breathe, unsure of what else to say. Suddenly, the volume on your headache reduces, and your lust levels shoot up. It’s so….
Din fidgets slightly, perhaps on edge because of your sudden scrutiny. Oops.
You revert your gaze to his visor, chancing some levity to ease the tension. “If I wasn’t fighting a skull-splitting hangover, I’d have a whole host of new nicknames for you already. Something about being as hard as beskar or carrying a concealed weapon… ugh, gimme a day, I’ll come up with a winner.”
His chuckle suggests the ice between you is now well and truly broken. You knock back the rest of your caf in the relaxed pause. It’s still hotter than you prefer, but perhaps it’ll quell your desire.
He lets you finish before breaking the easy silence. “Another question before you go, if it’s okay. Maybe a couple more, depending on how you answer the first one. I’d rather not leave this topic hanging now that we’ve addressed it.”
“Sure.” Right now, you’re willing to give this man whatever he wants.
“Okay. There’s another reason I walked away last night – besides your drunken state. It’s why I haven’t mentioned this before.” He swallows and inhales shakily. “You told me that your last relationship was terrible. And the fact that you chose to celebrate its end tells me you value your freedom. On my side, my relationships are rarely meaningful or long-term. So it might seem easiest to keep things casual.”
He pauses, but it’s unclear whether he wants your input. You can’t tell where he’s going with this, so you give him a one-shouldered shrug.
He leans forward and rests his vambraces on his cuisses. “If Grogu wasn’t around, it might be. But casual never ends well, and I will not threaten the bond you two have just for something meaningless. For the child’s sake, we gotta be sure where we stand before we… act on any of this. I can’t do casual with you, Maia. So the first question is: are you interested enough to try something… meaningful? Because if you’re not, we gotta bury this.”
He’s right. You start to understand why he got so worked up at your admission that you’re attracted to him for real. It complicates things.
He’s asked a logical and vital question, and you take a moment to give it due attention. Whatever happens, this cannot threaten your employment. So where are the lines?
You’ve felt something for Din from the start, and your attraction has only grown. That line is already blurred, and it hasn’t threatened anything, but it helps you see what he’s getting at. Your attachment to him and Grogu has become far more profound than you expected, so you couldn’t do casual even if you tried. It could only harm your bond with the kid if you tried to repress that attachment and keep things casual with his father.
Simply put, your feelings are already meaningful, so whatever comes next must be too.
Strangely, that doesn’t scare you. Your prior experience was poor – both oppressive and neglectful – but you were a displaced teenager on a new planet looking for protection when you got into that. Din is nothing like your ex, and this couldn’t be more different. You have faith in this man and, thus, faith in your answer.
“I am,” you confirm with a smile. “Are you?” He’s already confirmed he won’t do casual, but you need his agreement to start something meaningful.
He swallows, then echoes, “I am.”
A thrilling but weighty moment passes as you both digest this, just staring at one another in the wake of your mutual confessions. The air feels charged with promise. You can almost taste it.
It’s hard to judge how long has passed when he speaks again. “Second question. Did you use my ultrasound cleaner?”
Well, that’s a non sequitur. You have no idea how this query relates to your previous answer, but you nod nonetheless.
“Great. Come with me.”
He stands and leads you downstairs, stepping into his room and tapping on the main lights. When he sees that you’ve made his bed, he hums happily.
You’re quiet but hopeful, the heady feeling of promise that consumed you last night slowly filling you up once more as he turns to face you and beckons you closer.
“We should take this slow,” he starts. “You’re hungover, and I want you to feel comfortable when we….” He nods at the bed, oddly still reticent to describe the act.
“When we fuck.”
Din releases the cutest whimper and tugs at his pants. “That is not helping me with this problem. If you keep talking like that, I might not be able to resist,” he warns.
You scoff. “Shiny, are you really trying to threaten me with sex? Kriff, please tell me you didn’t use this tactic on any bounties back in the day.”
“No, I did not. And I’m trying to save that until your head doesn’t hurt,” he sighs. “But… question three. Before you go home, can I… kiss you?”
Your eyebrows shoot up as surprise and desire collide and carve a messy path through your chest, sending your heart tumbling into a double-time beat.
“Are you…” You’re not quite sure how to phrase your query, still chagrined by last night’s verbal blunders. “Is that some kind of metaphor? Does ‘kissing’ mean something different for Mandalorians with the whole helmet thing? Because if we’re just gonna thumb wrestle or something, I’m still in, but it’s kind of weird to call it kissing.”
He chuckles, and it eases your worry. “We do have a kissing substitute, but no, in this case, I meant what I said. I just gotta turn the lights out so you can’t see me when I remove my helmet. If that’s okay.”
All of your fears and concerns melt away with his answer. Gone are your worries about your budding romance having awkward or difficult restrictions, replaced by a certainty that you can handle not making eye contact. If observing that single caveat allows you to be with this man, you don’t even consider it a sacrifice.
Well, if he brought you down here to ensure it’s dark enough, you can help with that. You saunter to the door and touch the control to slide it closed, blocking out the sunshine filtering down the stairs, and then you turn to him with a smile. “It’s very okay. I’m not leaving here without a kiss, Din.”
He sucks in a modulated breath and doesn’t move for a second. “You… used my name.”
You know you’re allowed to – he’s told you that many times – but you find the nicknames help to maintain a friendly distance. Treat him as a friend, not as a lover. Except now things are changing.
“I thought I’d practice,” you explain. “I’m guessing that when we do get in that bed together, you’d prefer I scream out your real name instead of ‘Shiny’ or ‘Beskar Boy’.”
He groans sinfully again and reaches for you, fixing a glove around your wrist and tugging you to stand beside the shelves he stores his armour on. “Don’t move,” he instructs. Then he releases your wrist and taps a button on his vambrace, and the lights very slowly fade out until the room is darker than the void between galaxies.
Suddenly, sensations are everything. You can detect the warmth of Din’s body so close to yours, though you’re not yet touching. You hear him breathing more audibly than usual, a gentle but slightly stuttered hiss through the vocoder. You feel the air swirl around you as he raises his hands to his helmet…
The rhythmic thump of your heartbeat quickens, and despite your lack of sight, it’s as if the events occur in flashes between the beats. The absence of sound as you hold your breath. The gentle rustle as he slides off the metal helmet. The muffled clang when it hits the shelf as he lines it up. The scrape of the edge as he pushes it home. The nervous breath he releases in the subsequent silence, reminding you to exhale too.
Then he’s reaching for you, and your mind goes blank as his hands find your hips, closing the distance further. It’s not close enough to feel his arousal against you, although that’s probably wise. But if you weren’t still harbouring a headache, you’d be unable to resist pressing forward and seeking the impressive bulge you admired upstairs. Instead, you lay your palms on his cuirass and slide upward, burying your fingers in his cloak. That’s as high as you’ll go until you know what’s allowed.
One of Din’s gloved hands engulfs the nape of your neck, and you love how he’s controlling this, moving you in the dark to where he wants you. You can tell he’s leaned in closer by the sound of his breathing – more audible without the beskar barrier. Then there’s a sense of warmth on your skin as he brings you close enough to nuzzle at your hairline, gently at first, until you register the distinct press of his nose against your temple.
You feel it just before he speaks, his breath tickling near your ear as he opens his mouth to husk smooth, unmodulated words. “Go easy on me; it’s been a while since I’ve done this.”
Fuck, his voice is gorgeous. It resonates through you like a rumbling storm, drenching you with wanton promise, unleashing a different wetness upon you. If there were any frequency that could subdue your headache, it would be his soft and smoky timbre.
“Oh?” It’s all you can manage; a single syllable of surprise at his admission. He seems so confident.
“Mm,” he confirms, brushing his lips softly near the corner of your eye, and you detect some stubble around them. “Before we swear the Creed, we spend a while doing the things we’re taught to avoid after. I’ve only used this loophole once since then. So….” He trails off and presses a gentle kiss to the crest of your cheekbone, warm lips on soft skin, and you melt in his arms.
You want to assure him that he’s nailing it, preparing you so perfectly that he seems like an expert kisser, no matter how little practice he’s had. You want to thank him for deeming you worthy enough to use this rare loophole and express your stunned gratitude at the privilege he’s allowing you. But the notion of speaking confounds you, and all you can do is lift your chin and indicate your willingness to do this.
Din gets the message.
You can sense his nerves in the way he cautiously presses his lips against yours. But in the millisecond it takes to register a connection, your body reacts before your brain and electricity shoots through your nerve endings. Instantly, thousands of perfect explosions stud your skin, making you shiver in bliss.
He’s sweet, gentle, respectful… and it’s good. But it’s a little chaste for your liking, and you can tell he’s holding himself back. He needs to let go, so you emit a low hum of pleasure, which spurs him on and increases his fervour. You gently part your lips, and he gets the hint and takes the lead, deepening the kiss until your tongues meet – a touch that halts the spin of the whole galaxy around you.
Then he lets go. It’s as if he’s suddenly remembered how to breathe after holding his breath for decades, and oh, how utterly starved of oxygen he’s been. This kiss is feeding him, keeping him alive. His tightened grip, the tremors of lust you detect running through him, the way he almost whimpers into your mouth… it’s assertive and adorable in equal measures.
You can feel his inexperience, but you let him lead anyway. He gets lost in the sensations a few times, his rhythm faltering, but he corrects himself and responds keenly to your subtle signals of what’s good. It’s not long before you’re locked in a perfect moment, sharing an exquisite kiss with your ideal man.
When you part, it’s by mere centimetres, and you’re so full of happy chemicals that your hangover is barely a niggle at the back of your brain.
“I think that fixed my headache,” you purr against his lips. “I bet I could even thumb wrestle you now….” You have no clue what you’re implying, but you’re low-key horny, and openly flirting with him for once is fun.
Din’s unmodulated chuckle is the cutest thing you’ve ever heard. “Well, I was aiming for ‘mindblowing’, but I’ll take ‘headache-fixing’,” he jests, bantering right back for once. You can’t help but close the tiny distance to steal another lingering yet closed-mouth kiss, eager to show him just how addictive his efforts were.
Once again, your lips barely separate, lingering close. “Oh, it’s blown alright – completely offline. Probably why it doesn’t hurt anymore.” A salacious idea comes to you then, and you voice it a hair’s breadth from his mouth, knowing he’ll refuse but wanting to show you’re willing. “Maybe now it’s my turn to blow something of yours….”
The sharp gasp he sucks in and raggedly exhales indicates he’s just pictured your suggestion and played the image to its fruition. In the pitch-black room, you can pick up on his obvious arousal through sound and touch – the almost-groan he swallows, the twitch of all the muscles in his body as he reins himself in.
There’s a pause as he considers your proposal, and you can tell he’s waging a war with himself to refuse. You’ve put him in a difficult position. But this new closeness allows you to upgrade friendly teasing into full-on flirting, and you can’t resist.
It takes longer than you expect, but Din finally releases a shuddering breath, swallows, and presses a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth. Then he rasps, “I would enjoy that very much, but it’s not why I brought you down here, mesh’la.”
Mesh’la? Who the fuck is that? You stiffen in his arms, unable to process the idea that he’s just said someone else’s name during an intimate moment. Even if it does sound similar enough to yours that you could maybe understand the slip, how could he—?
“Maia,” you correct pointedly as your thoughts spiral, pulling away slightly, your stomach suddenly in knots.
He tightens his hold and hurriedly assures you, “Hey, no, it’s not— mesh’la means ‘beautiful’ in Mando’a.”
There’s a tense pause, and then you murmur, “Ah,” embarrassed and glad you didn’t instantly flip out at your incorrect assumption, then suddenly flattered by the compliment. As you fall back into his embrace, your sluggish brain gives you nothing more, too confused by the pelting of emotions you just received in quick succession. Perhaps it’s best to adopt Din’s usual policy of silence.
But he saves you from your chagrin and redirects you to another topic. “Final question. Can I make you dinner one evening this week? We agreed we’re aiming for something… meaningful here. Getting physical right away is not the best way to achieve that.” He squeezes your waist with the hand that’s remained in place throughout. “As much as I’m looking forward to that part.”
A sweet smile is your reply, though you realise he can’t see it in the dark. Luckily, it’s followed up by the return of your vocabulary. “Dinner sounds good. Grogu too?” You love the little womp rat, but this sounds like a date, so you’d rather it wasn’t crashed by a decades-old toddler.
Din hums as he follows your thought process. “The kids at his school keep inviting him on playdates and sleepovers. The parents seem like good people, so I’m sure we could arrange something both he and I would be happy with.”
You nod. “Then I look forward to our first date.” You can’t imagine how a dinner date will work with a guy who can’t show his face, but at least now you know there are loopholes. Perhaps he has another for eating together.
“Me too… mesh’la Maia.” You hear his slightly cheeky but utterly earnest tone, and you can’t help grinning. How apt that he should give you a nickname just when you decide to start using his real name.
You want to kiss him again, but since you pulled away a little, you can’t judge where his face is anymore, and you’re not sure if you’re allowed to touch him to locate it. “Another kiss before I leave, gorgeous guy?” (Two can play the nickname game, and you started it).
“Always,” Din agrees through a chuckle, bringing you in close again with the hand on your neck, finding your lips and pressing something firmer, more resolute there. You open eagerly for him and revel in the thrust of his tongue against yours. He’s settling into it now, more confident in himself and his technique, while carefully heeding your responses.
You enjoy it while you can – the sensations, the taste, the warmth, the delicious calm energy that washes through you with his lips on yours, his tongue in your mouth, his hand on your neck. You commit the feelings to memory, unsure when you’ll get to do it again. You hope you won’t have to wait too long for your date.
It’s over too soon, but you accept that it has to be. As you separate, you attempt to lock in the memories of the features you’ve felt pressed against you – stubble, soft lips, a strong nose. It’s not much, but it’s more than you had before.
Din’s hand falls from your neck, and you bemoan the loss of heat and comfort, spiralling back toward your hangover from the heady heights of such an intimate moment. As you hear the scrape of his helmet on the shelf’s edge again, you panic a little and blurt out, “What’s your hair like?”
He freezes, and your panic swells for a different reason. Based on the comb you spotted on his dresser earlier, you’re confident you’re not asking a bald man to describe his hair, but perhaps it’s forbidden to ask.
“I-I mean, if I’m not allowed to know, then forget I asked. I just… now that I’ve felt your lips, it’s made me wonder about the rest. It’s fine if you can’t tell me, though.”
A few seconds later, the scrape of the helmet resumes, and he slides it into his grasp. But you don’t hear him put it on.
Din’s reply is a low whisper, and he sounds even more nervous than he was before you kissed. “You can’t see my face… but you can touch it. If you want.”
Oh. You wonder how many people have touched his face, which makes you hesitate. This feels more intimate than you should be getting right now. “Thank you. I think… just your hair today. I’ll explore the rest of you on our date, face included.” That promise wins you an eager hum.
Your hands remain buried in his cloak, so you slide one to the back of his neck and rake upward. A gasp escapes you as you feel soft strands, longer than you expected and curling slightly at the ends. You picture the cutest mess of unruly waves.
“Is it… what colour is it?” You’ve seen him without his gloves a few times – last night included – so you know his skin is a warm amber. But human genetics are so diverse that you can’t really assume anything about his hair based on that.
It takes a few seconds for him to answer, busy sighing in bliss and pressing his head into your palm like a tooka getting stroked. “Dark,” he replies simply. It’s unclear whether he’s hypnotised by your hand in his hair or he’s not used to disclosing details about himself. Both are fair excuses, and you have much more data than you did ten minutes ago either way. You’re convinced he’s gorgeous.
“Thank you, Din,” you offer as you force yourself to stop running your fingers through his silken waves and withdraw a step.
There’s a quiet rustle as he places his helmet back on and seals it. “You’re welcome.” It’s modulated again, but there’s something about hearing that metallic rasp that makes you smile. You just kissed the source of that sound.
With a muffled beep from his vambrace, the lights fade up again, revealing an impassive black T-visor. However, the armoured body below it somehow looks more relaxed and assured. Gone is the stiffness you felt in his limbs earlier, and though you wonder if a certain stiffness in his pants remains, you’re not about to start ogling him when you should be going home.
So you smile and suggest, “Walk me out?” and you’re rewarded with a nod.
When you exit the cabin for the second time in one morning, you feel like a different person. Though your foggy head throbs and your bruised shoulder smarts, your very essence sparkles with an energy you’ve never felt before. It flares with each lingering touch the Mandalorian bestows upon you, with every prolonged stare of his visor, and with his soft instruction to get home safe.
He’ll call you, he promises, slipping a new comlink into your hand.
When you exit the cabin for the second time in one morning, you feel like a better person. The girl who disgraced herself last night has gone, leaving a happier and more fulfilled version in her place. Even so, you’re sure glad that idiot version of yourself ran her mouth and became the catalyst for your new path with Din.
And you can’t wait to look down again. Maybe next time you’ll get to go down too.
Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist
Get ready for more loquacious end notes…
Maia’s job was inspired by this scene from s3e5. She’s not a civil engineer, but, like, she could be that girl with the datapad – doing all the planning and building the holos while the engineer gets all the glory (can you tell I work in a support role??).
I originally wrote details at the end of part one of everything Din decided – that she must be attracted to him based on how she worded things, and that he’d talk to her to verify that and determine whether it was something she’d like to act on or just ignore. But I realised it was better for the story to leave his intentions a mystery (is the thing he ‘doesn’t want to have to do’ ejecting her from his life, or simply having a grownup conversation?), which hopefully lets you feel more of Maia’s fear here.
I feel like there’s a lot of scope for misunderstandings, not just because of Din’s helmet, but also because he can be socially awkward. So there he is, massively attracted to this girl who threw herself at him the night before but he doesn’t know what to say, so he just sort of gravitates towards her, tries to get close. Is he sort of flirting? Maybe. The ‘get in their personal space’ thing might work for him when he’s casually picking someone up. So his actions here are him trying to say with body language “I like you too, I want to get closer,” but she misunderstands because of her embarrassment, sees it as intimidation, and shies away – a response which makes him even more clueless about how to vocalise things.
I hope the switch from third person (she/her) pronouns in part 1 Din’s POV to second person (you/your) pronouns in part 2 Maia’s POV wasn’t too clunky. I know it’s popular in this fandom to use second-person pronouns (you/your) even when writing from a third person’s POV (Din’s), but I just can’t make myself do it. If he’s the one whose head we’re in, when he’s thinking about the woman he’s attracted to, he wouldn’t be thinking “damn, you’re hot”, he’d be thinking “damn, she’s hot”. I was taught that we should hear internal dialogue exactly as it would sound to the person thinking it, thus we should use third-person pronouns when inside his head. You/your is only for when we’re inside the reader’s head (second-person POV so second-person pronouns). And of course, I/me pronouns are used if we’re ever inside the author’s head (first person POV). I hope that explains the switch here. I swear I can’t help my annoying adherence to grammar rules – it’s just been drilled into me. I wish I could be more flexible sometimes, but unfortunately the autism always wins 😔
GIF made by me again, slightly less blurry this time.
Definitions: An ultrasound cleaner is basically a sonic toothbrush from Legends. Both Boba Fett and Jabba the Hutt kept a rancor as a rather scary pet. Caf, as you probably know, is the SWU’s coffee. Din (and Maia here) often calls Grogu a womp rat, a pest on Tatooine (proving Din has spent long enough there to pick up the local lingo, and Maia has picked it up from him). A tooka is an SWU cat.
As always, comments/kudos (AO3) and likes/reblogs (Tumblr) will inspire me to produce more things. I don’t have a Kofi because I would rather have your help marketing my stories than take your cash, so if you enjoy my work, please support me with kudos and reblogs. Thanks!
Honestly, I’m not altogether thrilled with this fic. I struggle with shorter (ha!) pieces because, as those of you who have read Be-All And Endor will know, I’m much more comfortable playing the long game and writing things where I can focus on character development, foreshadow future events, reference and call back concepts, and do a heck of a lot of worldbuilding. So to me, this feels like it lacks depth because it’s a very simple and straightforward concept that lacks a full-on conflict/resolution arc, and as a character study it’s nothing that hasn’t been done before. I’ve also been struggling to write something I felt was good enough to publish in the wake of Be-All. I don’t think this passes muster, but in the end, I realised I had to just post something – anything – simply to get past that fear of doing it. So I hope this was interesting enough to at least hold your attention! I suppose I could write a part 3 where they have their date and the smut happens, but to be honest, I have several other smutty fics in the works that have much better setups, so I think I should focus on those. I might come back to this one day, though.
Tags requested…
@aheadfullofsteverogers @alltheotps @axolotllover225 @burntheedges @copperhalfcent
@dindenimchicken @feekedbeat @foomoosworld @jude77 @penvisions
@pigeonmama @secretelephanttattoo @stagerightlauren @the-mandawhor1an @titlee78
I tagged those below in part 1 due to interest in my series masterlist and WIP snippets (comments/reblogs). Nobody told me off for my audacity, so I’m hoping you’ll enjoy part 2 also…
@604to647 @cheekychaos28 @djarinmuse @gingerlurk
@joelalorian @kyberblade @readingupsidedown @sunflowersunlight7-blog
@thefrogdalorian @whataenginerd @wrathkitty
#star wars#the mandalorian#din djarin#din djarin x reader#din djarin x you#din djarin x original female character#mando x reader#mando x you#mando x original female character#the mandalorian x reader#mandalorian x reader#din djarin fluff#din djarin fanfiction#the mandalorian fanfiction#din djarin x oc#pedro pascal characters#mandalorian#the mandolarian#mando#the mandolorian
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